I met with Susan Popper for two hours today at the Round House Cafe, I was editing a piece she had just written on obesity, and it was an intense experience for both of us.

Susan can barely talk about the subject without crying and feeling great pain, and I was there to talk to her about structuring a piece like that, breaking it into manageable pieces and providing an outline.

She was crying for much of the time, but crying never bothers me, it is, to me, just another way of talking, and some of the strongest women I know cry a great deal. I wish I could cry more often than I do. Emotion often sparks the best writing in people, Susan is on fire.

In my editing her piece, I get myself detached – the editor has to be steady – and we got through the process. Susan is a great listener and learner, she is coming out as a writer and a photographer and she is very good at both.

But this is a painful subject for her. She hid behind her obesity for years and lived in the shadows. It nearly cost her her life.

I didn’t want to take a photograph of her crying, it seems too invasive even for me.

And Susan explained, in her piece and in talking to me, that she has stopped feeling only shame about her self and  her body, she has learned to see beyond the obesity and has discovered a loving, happy, joyful and intelligent person.

At the lunch, some friends came bye to chat, but they caught the emotion and quickly backed away.

This is the real Susan, the person I see and know, the person she has only recently met. Casting the shame aside, Susan is now only able to see who she really is, but is confronting her obesity in a calm and reasoned and determined way, something her shame about it blocked.

Susan likes this new way of seeing herself. She smiles all the time now, and she has the kind of radiant smile I love to photograph, again and again. Her story is very powerful and compelling, so is her smile.

I am eager to see the final version of her piece, she has worked  hard on it.  Her stories about the way people have always looked at her and judged her are wrenching.

Susan is now in my Writing Workshop which I’ve decided to continue for another year. The class has been pared down a bit, some people were too busy, others were not really interested in writing much, or in my teachings. No shame in that, but I want to keep the class focused on writing.

I’m also excited about starting up the class, we’re meeting again at the farm on Saturday mornings, the dining room has turned out to be a great place.

Susan is, in my mind, on the journey to authenticity, for me an essential part of being a writer. It’s hard to do and most people don’t want to do it, or can’t. Susan is doing it, and her smile is an inspiration to me, and I gather, to many others.

Smiles are so important.