It is hard to imagine a more complex and painful dog story than Evie, the mixed breed Chihuahua I wrote about yesterday.

She illustrates almost all of the many complexities and choices facing people who rescue dogs and other animals and people who brings these dogs and cats into their lives.

Evie was pulled from a notoriously negligent shelter by the Friends Of Homeless Animals/RI, a rescue group I support and work with and am getting my next dog from. I find them to be loving, dedicated, honest, and empathetic, both to people and to dogs.

Evie has somehow worked her way into my head, and sometimes haunts me. Maybe it’s those eyes.

My first thought when I read about Evie, who suffers from heart disease, a hernia and heartworm was that she would be a hard sell. She has months of medical treatment ahead of her and it isn’t completely certain she will survive all of it.

The group rescued her because its very good-hearted members learned she has never known a human who treated her with love, and they feel she deserved this chance.

My friend Carol Johnson told me that Evie would be the hardest dog on FOHA’s roster of adoptable dogs because of her medical issues. Today, Evie was spayed and underwent surgery for her hernia. She is getting better.

I am happy to write about Evie and I hope  that she will get the love she deserves so late in life and after so much suffering. She already looks vastly better than she did a couple of weeks ago. I am no God, it is not for me to say if she be kept alive while so many healthier and younger dogs die.

In general, I believe it is morally questionable to keep sick dogs alive beyond their natural lives, and if they are suffering. But morality is a general thing, you can’t wrap it around every single thing.

People have to make up their own minds about questions like this, I don’t tell other people what to do, I just try to be honest about what I do.

I don’t think I would adopt a dog like Evie, I’m not sure which is more merciful, keeping her alive for treatment after treatment, or letting her die in peace and comfort. That’s the fascinating thing about dog rescue, it challenges us to feel and think and make decisions.

I am not one of those people who sees the world in black and white, I have many more questions than answers, I do not fit into most labels, I could not survive in the left or the right.

And obviously, I have no trouble publicizing her plight and hoping someone out there takes pity on her. I would love to write she is finally getting to experience the love of a human, she could have four or five years left to live. This suggests that I am torn, and of course, I am.

The good news is that Carol Johnson told me today that a number of people have contacted her to ask about Evie, and others had offered to make  donations on her behalf. That made me feel good. Carol’s email is [email protected], or [email protected]. My reservations ahead, it would feel good to know somebody wanted to love her.

Evie has prompted me to write a series of pieces about animal rescue, and the posts have sparked a substantial and interesting and thoughtful response.  I got about 100 messages. Since my piece was not meant to be critical of animal rescue, most people didn’t take it that way, and the comments were especially thoughtful and interesting.

Some people thought I wasn’t effusive enough:

“For whatever the reason, I didn’t feel quite good after reading it,” wrote Laura of my post, she is one of my blog readers. “You didn’t mention kitties and cats. They are extremely important to the lives of those who work, don’t have children, are infirm and unable to leave the house. Not forgetting to mention autistic children who identify with some cats with neurological problems they can identify with.
…We in rescue spay and neuter to the best of our ability. Finding homes for them is rewarding to get them off the streets where cruelty abounds!…
After texting this, I do feel good!”

I appreciate the post, it did make me think, it was both polite and interesting.

It also affirmed some of my reservations about the rescue movement. I told Laura that it isn’t my job to make her feel good, but to hopefully make her think. Sounds like I succeeded.

Writing only long lists of good things is not especially thoughtful to me, and I’m not a substitute for vallum. I have rescued countless animals in my life and don’t really need a lecture about how much good rescuing them does. I live with the good it does every day, it is lying at my feet and sleeping next to my bed.

But any institution that sees itself as beyond criticism, or believes it can only be praised, and never enough, risks self-righteousness and disconnection from ordinary people. And needs to be thought about.  Animal rescue is a complicate and emotional  experience. It is good to think about.

The fact that rescue does  good does not mean that it can never do wrong, or go astray.

I always feel I need to remind myself that I am in no way superior to other people, and that I must never hate people who think differently than I do, which is the vast majority of the human species.

I believe this need for humility is also true of me. I try to do good all the time, I  often end up doing wrong. I am human.

So Evie has gotten herself into my head, and calls out to me.

She brings focus to my mixed and confusing thoughts about rescue,  its amazing accomplishments, its excesses, it’s philosophical and ethical dilemmas, the new way of understanding animals in our world. If it is good, it is also hard.

I do know this: I would love to see Evie get adopted, I would love to see find some human love at the end of a very hard life. I would love to know she has found comfort and safety. I want to know if this seemingly unadoptable dog can be adopted.

I did think of doing it myself, but I just could not.

Audio: Evie, Continued.