There is something special about taking photos you never imagined you would ever take. This morning,  Maria asked me to take a photo of her in her belly dancing skirt and abbreviated shirt, called a Choli.

I hardly believed what I saw in the view finder. I loved what I saw in the viewfinder.

Just look at the expression on Maria’s face and the exuberant way in which she shows her body to the world. When I first met Maria, she was painfully shy, I thought she might be mute. She has worked hard to free her inner self. It is not shy or mute.

Let me set any men reading this about belly dancing right, belly dancing is not for your amusement or titillation, women do not do it to impress you or arouse you. They do it to impress themselves and take pride in their spirits and bodies.

It is, I think, all about attitude – ATTA-TUDE and voice, it is not about titillation.

When I met Maria a decade ago, the idea that she would pose for a photograph dancing in this way with her belly showing would have been absolutely unimaginable.  It would have been unthinkable even two years go.

She is – was – uncomfortable with her body, she came with a lot of body shame, common to so many women in our country.

This photo – and this dancing –  speaks to her dramatic evolution, she is understanding who she is, and is no longer afraid of showing who she is to the world. That is significant, a turning point, I believe, for her and for the idea of identity and self-awareness.

The belly dancing has helped guide Maria to an understanding of who she really is:  me and so many others have always seen the beauty in her physical being, her spirit is radiant.  Her  beauty comes from her soul, not her belly.

She has learned – in part through her dancing – that  beauty is internal, not external.

It has never been about how big or small a belly is, it is about how big or small our sense of self is. I share this experience, I have also learned the hard way to learn to love myself if I ever want someone else to love me. It works.

Maria joined a Bennington Vt.  dance group a year or so ago, the Bennington Beledi Tribal Belly Dancers.

She has loved every minute of it, this dancing fosters connection and community, it is not really meant to be done alone.

For the first few months, she came home telling me this dancing was too difficult, she would never get it, never learn it, never figure out. It does, in fact, take years to lean.

But  this dancing is not about entertainment, it is not about the exterior world but the interior world. It is filled with style and feeling and yes, attitude. It is also about sisterhood, these women care about each other, watch out for each other, teach each other, dance in sync with one another. Talk about bonding.

Now, Maria comes home with a different voice. She no longer needs to denigrate or diminish herself.

She is learning it, she says, she is loving it, she is getting it, she is working hard to get where she wants to go.  I love the look on her face when she dances, this is the real Maria I never saw at first, but now see everyday.

This dance is transformative, it brings out the strength of the dancers, it is assertive, they tell the world “this is who I am, take it or leave it.” It is joyous and communal, an America style of dancing with its roots in Middle Eastern culture. It’s called American Tribal Style Belly Dance.

This dancing is considered a form of group improvisation, ATS is usually performed in a group, often at community events like festivals and parades.

Belly dancing has surprised and mesmerized me. So many men I know sneer and wink when they hear of it, they have no idea. Neither did I.

One day soon I will be taking a photo of Maria dancing  on a stage with her dancing sisters performing in public, their arms raised about their head in affirmation, their Zills ringing away on their fingertips in rhythm, their bodies moving together, their bellies open to the world, all connected so closely to one another.

Another photo I never imagined taking. I can hardly wait.