I realized this morning that for the first time in my life, I know a love that is secure. I have never had that before, and did not know what it was.

It is profound, transforming.

I trust Maria in a way I have never trusted anyone, family, friends, lovers.

She knows me in a way no one has ever known me.

When we argue or get angry with one another, I know we will talk it through and work it out, not seethe and fester and brood or hide or run.

We have our battles, we have no grudges, we carry nothing over.

We have seen deeply into the souls of one another, and we know the reality of each other. Love is not about perfection, but openness, trust and a willingness to do the hard work of listening and compromise and feeling.

I let Maria see me in a way no one has ever seen me, and in a way I have never shown to anyone else.

Every day, I rediscover my love for her and wonder at this idea of secure love, of trust, it opens up so many possibilities, it frees me in so many ways, it supports and nourished me and affirmsmy life and makes it possible.

This is one of the things that matters most – a secure love.

It happened when I finally became open to it, and I do not lament how long it took, I celebrate that I had the good fortune – and the will – to have it in my life.

People will read this and message me that I am very lucky, but Maria and I both know luck has little to do with it. We have both worked very hard to find and keep our love, we work at it every single day of our lives.

What a relief it is to trust love, it is the path to freedom.

And while I never tell other people what to do, I will share this: if I can have it, you can have it, if you do not already have it.