Beware: Prudes and Stuffpots And Old Farts And People With Impressionable Children. Those Vulvas Are Flying Again!

Maria has struck again with her Flying Vulvas, and on two fronts. She put 14 brand new Flying Vulva potholders up on her Etsy page this afternoon, and within seconds, all but one were gone.

I think the last one is still there (25$ plus shipping), but I don’t think Flying Potholder XII will be there for long. Oh, that Maria…Why won’t she stick to vintage hankies and leave Vulvas a secret.

A number of horrified people squawked at me (and her)  when I wrote about her Flying (for freedom) Vulvas, calling them “gross,” or “disgusting,” or dangerous to immigrants and their children.

Traci literally lost her lunch over the Vulvas, she resigned in furious  protest from my blog (which is neat, since you can’t really join it) and stormed off to a more moral and less revolting sight, spewing hateful e-mails in her wake.

I told her I wished her peace, and offered that no Vulva that I knew of had  ever killed or seriously injured anyone. She did not respond, I referred her to the National League Of Decency. Boy, was she on the wrong blog.

Another woman (really!) scolded me for wanting to expose my genitalia to the world. Now it was my turn to be horrified, I would never do that to people. Maria’s Vulva’s are quite beautiful and artistic. I might just go buy the last one.

Some rational and civil people pointed out that they wouldn’t wish to have a Vulva potholder hanging up on their walls, but they had no problem with Maria making them or my mentioning them. In our edgy and polarized country, I guess this passes for progress.

I don’t really understand that the many people who just don’t want Vulvas hanging in their kitchens – lots of people do –  can’t just not buy one and move along. Social media are spawning legions of outrage and grievance addicts.

As I pointed out some of my disgusted and grossed out readers, they should go online and check out the genitalia hanging  up in the Vatican Museum and countless churches in America. For thousands of years, artists have painted penises and vaginas, as if they were actually part of the human experience.

Oh, that’s right. They are. Where do people think Jesus came from?

I hate to think where we would all be without Vulvas.

I guess the answer is nowhere, we wouldn’t exist without Vulvas.  I find them beautiful and honest and deserving of being seen and considered. And I am truly sorry at the women I’ve heard from who find such an elemental part of their bodies gross and disgusting.

What have we done to women?

As if Maria, that soul of sin and depravity, wasn’t in enough trouble, I wrote a piece about my deep love and appreciation for Vulvas, those beautiful flowers of feeling and sensitivity and pride. Vulva decals are on the way, and more Vulva potholders as well.

She is onto something and knows it.

I promised to never take photos of the donkey Vulvas. As the refugee soccer kids, they seemed more interested in pizza and the Avengers, they found the Vulva potholders a bit boring, but seemed to survive exposure to them intact.

Ali wants one.

I should point out though, that this is all deceiving, as much glee Maria and I derive from poking the pompous. Maria has sold out both  sets of Vulvas, (cept maybe the one), people really are loving them, buying more than one, sending them to their friends, grasping their importance as symbols of femininity and freedom.

And of course, Maria immediately ordered 100 quite beautiful Vulva stickers, they will also be sold on her Etsy Page, along with other potholders.

We don’t see any evidence that the manufacture and sale of these Vulvas has set humanity back much, and Maria loves her Vulvas, it is just what she thinks her art ought to be doing, celebrating and connecting with women and people who love and respect women.

And sometimes, stirring the pot for women.

You can follow Maria’s nefarious artwork on her blog.