Yesterday, Ed and I talked about the fact that death is hidden away from most people.

Not too long  ago, most people – 93 per cent – died at home, Americans saw death all the time,  and were familiar with it. Today, almost no one dies at  home, the sick and dying are  hidden out of sight, and there is almost no discussion or thought given to how we die and where we die.

As a result of this unspoken taboo, many Americans are stunned by death, unprepared for it and horrified by it. So when their time comes, they are rarely ready.

Ed is surrendering to the brain cancer that is chipping away at him hour by hour. Like me, he doesn’t like to portray it is as a fight, or a battle. It is no fight he says, serious cancer is bigger than  we are.

I saw in my hospice work that family members often urged sick loved ones to “fight on,” people are often urged not to be “quitters,” or told that the family isn’t ready to let them go.  In many cases, dying and sick people hang on through great suffering. They are trying to please other people.

Hospice social workers often encouraged family members to tell the dying that it is okay for them to leave. Quite often, they then can let go.

As Ed points out, it isn’t a combat mission, cancer is much more complex than that, and acceptance is, in many cases, a much more humane approach.

Ed and I wanted to break that taboo, the silence that shrouds death, and talk about his imminent death. He hopes to help others who find themselves in his situation.

We are all past looking for miracles and cure, we just want peace and comfort for him.

So we did talk about death in this video. He broke the taboo!

Ed accepts that he is dying and has no wish to hide from the fact. He also wants to retain control of his death, and in my experience, those are the good deaths, the ones who think but it.

It is a rare thing for a man like Ed to talk so openly about death, and it is, I think, a valuable ting.

Death is sad, but not only sad. Come and listen to him talk about his death. As always, I am grateful for Ed’s friendship, honesty and openness at this time. Come and listen to this very special man face his  increasingly certain end.