I left Ed on Wednesday surprised at how clear and vital he seemed, so full of the future. Thursday was very different. Ed had a very difficult night, full of fear and uncertainty, he says he feels the cancer taking him over bit by bit.

Today, hospice moves into Ed’s life in force – a hospital bed, an oxygen system, a wheelchair, a commode, medication for anxiety. Ed’s spirit seemed drained to me. He asked me to come over to take notes during a family meeting – the meeting was private – and when I asked him why, he said he wanted me to record his wishes in case he didn’t make it to meet with his lawyer on Monday.

I asked him if he wanted to do a video, and he said of course, he still had things to say, he still wanted to be of some use. So I sat on the foot of the bed – Ed was not able to sit up at the moment – and we did a video. His spirit seemed drained, he is exhausted.

For the first time, we did our video with Ed lying down. I said little, this is his time now, his statement.

He is also being medicated for depression and anxiety. He seems haunted by the children he meet on his road trip who have cancer, he said no child to have to suffer that, he has lived his life, they ought to get to live theirs.

Although cancer of this kind is aggressive but unpredictable, I believe Ed is entering the final chapter in this story. I am grateful hospice has been engaged. I think Carol will get some more help and Ed will be more comfortable.

Today,  hospice is arriving in force – nurses, medication, a wheelchair, a hospital bed, oxygen. Ed was clear last night that the cancer was taking over, he says he is in full acceptance of his death, which he believes will be soon.

“The cancer is getting the upper hand,” he told me.”It’s going to make the choices, more than I am now.”

E asked me to come over today to record another video, and I will be happy to do that and bring some of his favorite sandwiches – BLT’s. He is also craving chocolate ice cream, he believes it has restorative powers. I can get behind that.

As a writer, I admire Ed for his courage and willingness to share his story when most people would hide it, perhaps understandably. I am happy to be of some use to him now. I always felt friendship was basically about trust, and our trust for one another is absolute.