It was very much Maria.

When I came outside to help with the chores, she was out in the pasture, cutting a wildflower bouquet for me as an eighth anniversary present. Maria is deeply connected to the natural world and to the world of animals, they have helped her heal, as they help all of us to heal.

I sometimes see Maria as a mystical guide, she has led me deep into the world of trees, flowers, shadows and the secrets of the natural world. She has opened me up to the bright side of the world.

I think of her often as a woodland spirit, perhaps an elf or delinquent goddess. She is as open as I am closed, as trusting as I am  wary, as enthusiastic as I am suspicious. She is good for me, to say the least.

She has taught me so much about how to talk to our animals.

Our home and our life is filled with rocks, skeletal art, crystals and now, all kinds of beautiful flowers all over our house. She sees beauty everywhere, and has created a beautiful world around her, and around me.

Every morning, I wake up and look at her and stroke her hair and kiss her somewhere as she mumbles and grumbles and tries to wake up. It is a miracle, I think. I think that every morning and many times through the day. Is this really my wife and lover and partner? How did this happen to me? How did I hit this great and boundless jackpot?

And you know what, it is a miracle.

I remembered this morning what life was like in the dark days before we met. I see it all in gray, it was lonely and unhappy and empty. I had given up on life and love, I was just waiting out my time. When I was 61, a wary analyst warned me that I was undergoing a lot of change for someone my age. Most people give up and accept their fate in their sixties, he said.

I would rather die, I said. And that was true. In a sense I already was dying.

Our world is rich in life and mystery. I was living in a remote place, hiding from the world, it was a place you go if you want to make certain you will  never meet anyone. and there she was popping up out of the mist.

Maria and I have had much fun, we laugh so often and happily discuss and digest the news of our days.

We are both complex people, often unlocking the secrets of the other. We have helped one another to climb out of the dark spaces were were both in. We have cheered one another on as we each make our stumbling but unstoppable progress.

We are both prickly and sensitive, lots of wounds, scars, triggers and sore spots. Sometimes, I like life if like a minefield with us, all sorts of dangerous things to step. We navigate them, talk about them, we heal one another’s wounds, and lift up each other’s hearts.

In the other, we each found a partner to share in our deep obsession with creativity and encouragement.

We started out as broken people reaching out for a life raft, we have turned into a team, a partnership in the best sense of the world. Every day, I revel in Maria’s newfound strength and confidence. Another miracle. And she revels in my growing strength and confidence in my ability to manage my life and grow and learn and change.

So this is a day working marking, even if we are both at our desks pretty much all day. That is also what we are like.

We are both agents of change and warriors for love. I am happy to celebrate the miracle that is our anniversary.