I had mixed results with my efforts to assist the memory-afflicted in the Mansion this week. There was little interest in the “activity” or “sensory”  aprons I hoped would give some of the residents creativity activities during their sometimes long days.

My first “realistic” baby dolls, otherwise known as “reborn” babies. on the other hand, was an unequivocal success. Diane, frustrated by the lack of purpose or clarity in her life, loved her new baby without  condition and absolutely. Her baby, which she named “Sue,” occupied her all day Thursday, and in the most calming, satisfying and focused way.

The baby seemed to give her both pride and purpose, as you can see from the video below. Diane received Sue on Tuesday:

“She’s a beautiful girl,” Diane told me today when I asked her about Sue, “she’s a very good girl and she needs to be loved.”

There is some confusion about the value of realistic baby dolls for patients with memory issues, Alzheimer’s or Dementia.  Many caregivers find babies ease the burden of their patients by providing outlet for care, love, responsibility and purpose. The dolls are also believed to bring back happy memories of early parenthood, Diane clearly feels both needed and useful since she met Sue.

Some find it demeaning.

Before the doll, Diane was becoming frustrated, moving around in search of something to do, and for some meaning. Now, she thinks about Sue – is she tired, being loved, being heard? She feeds the baby regularly, changes her diapers, makes sure she is warm.

And there are questions to answer?

Should she come to dinner or stay behind in the room and rest. Reading through the literature, I’ve ordered a bassinet for Diane to put Sue in when she leaves the room, or wants the baby to nap.

The aides think that Diane is afraid to carry Sue around too much for fear she will get lost, or even stolen. The other residents have responded well to Sue, they seem to understand the need and the purpose.  My sense is she may be wary of being ridiculed. Some of the residents can be tough that way. I think she’s not ready to show her much.

I visited Diane today shortly after her nap with Sue and this video of the two seemed to affirm the wisdom of her getting such a doll. I think she was lonely before Sue, she spent a lot of time talking to the parakeets, pushing her walker through the hallways. She seems quite focused now.

It was interesting, looking on Amazon, private websites and Alzheimer and Dementia sites, I saw many prices for realistic dolls at $1,200 and higher. I was startled – Sue cost $200 with a box of accessories – and I realized that these sites were reimbursed by insurance companies, which paid all or most of the high costs. Small wonder health care costs rise so rapidly. I wouldn’t even think of asking the Mansion to participate in that kind of purchase.

I did not find the doll demeaning or infanticizing to Diane. She is very happy to have Sue, this is so clearly something she needed. Come and see.