I was struck again at the Mansion today, watching the love and care Joan receives there. I saw a young aide take her by the hand, and walk her to room. They watch her closely and always seem to know when she needs them, they are always gentle and patient with her, some of the residents are not.

Then bring her dinner and help her find her seat. Joan is an interior person, a natural artist. I love working on  reading and memory with her, I have to get back to it tomorrow.

She has memory problems, but the paints and writes poetry easily and poignantly. She has suffered in her life, but is unfailingly gentle and warm. I will bring a workbook tomorrow and we will read together, I have come to love that. I have a poem and a painting of hers on my study wall.

I told  her the refugee children were coming back soon to help serve them lunch, and she smiled, and asked me who they were. Do you remember?, I asked, and she said, sure, sure. What is the dog’s name? He’s so handsome.

And what, she said, taking my hand, is your name?

I watched Joan for a few minutes, she seemed lost in herself, deep in thought. She saw the camera and waved to me.

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On the way out, I said goodbye to Joan found a resident, a woman, that I was looking for. She asked if I could get something personal that she needed, and I went to the Rite-Aid and got it for her. She thanked me and as I turned to go, she grabbed my arm and looked me in the eye.

“Jon,” she said.

“Yes,” I answered.

“I’m so confused.”

I sat down next to her and took her hand.

“What about,” I asked?

“I’m confused about everything,” she said, tears streaming down her face.

I held her hands for a few minutes and watched as Red sidled over and she began to pet him.

“I’m so confused.”

I did not really know what to say.

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You can send Joan a letter c/o The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. You can support my work at the Mansion by sending a contribution to Jon Katz. P.O. Box 205, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816 or via Paypal, [email protected].