Gus has a bad morning Saturday, he has a very good day yesterday, and – fingers crossed – a very good day so far today. I am feeding him four times a day in small amounts. He has regained almost all of the weight he lost the last week. We are used to the ups and downs of this disease without a beginning or an end, but overall, Gus is on a good  track, a good path.

As is often the case with megaesophagus,  we don’t really know why one day is better than the others.

A lot of good and important things happened to us this weekend, but megaesophagus is clearly on our minds, we both had dreams about Gus and vomiting last night, in my dream I was spraying Odor Off all night. We listen constantly for that now familiar gurgle.

When Maria and I woke up this morning, the first thing we didn’t talk about our work, what we said to one another was “Gus didn’t vomit or spit up once yesterday.” That’s where we are these days.

A friend who has been reading the blog says Gus’s illness has “done away with your tough guy image.” I told her I didn’t know I had a tough guy image.

But still, there is the feeling in both of us that we are making headway, that the chuck-ups, as we call them, are much less frequent, and Gus looks great, if he were any more active, he’s spin-off into the air like a helicopter.

We have become Olympic Class vomit cleaners, rushing to the site with a can of disinfectant and one of odor repellent and five or six strips of paper. My best time is under a minute, nobody I know of can touch me, although Maria is pretty fast.

We are trying to keep track of even the most minor changes to see what might be making a difference.

What are we doing differently than before? Medications and nutrition.

With puppies like Gus, the two big killers from megaesophagus are malnutrition and aspirational pneumonia.

We had a bad scare last week when he began dropping weight and getting sluggish.

There are no signs of pneumonia and the weight is mostly back on, it seemed to be a nutrition problem. Puppies can sometimes outgrow megaesophagus, older dogs do not. Gus is nine months old, and is only technically a puppy.

People online tell me that with great care, their megaesophagus dogs have “some good years.” This is not a phrase I like or find reassuring, we are striving to do better.

As Gus regains his weight, we see he is busy, happy, energetic, playful, hungry,  affectionate and alert. He does not appear to be a sick dog. Dogs in his condition do not generally die.

Gus gets an anti-nausea and vomiting and motility tablet three times a day and an antacid medication a half hour before every meal.  The motility medication moves food through the digestive track more quickly.

He now gets no treats of any kind, and is not allowed to roam the pasture scarfing up all kinds of droppings. One problem is that Gus will eat absolutely anything – animal droppings, chicken droppings, wood chips and splinters.

The big thing I’ve done with his low-cal gastroentric food is to try to make it more nutritious and softer and wetter. I’ve added Royal Canin high calorie recovery food, it is now 1/4 of his diet.

This is to keep his weight up, and so it will slide down the esophagus more easily. I’m also feeding him small “meatball” chunks of his food by hand, asking him to stand “up” while he swallows each piece. I’ve also been putting drops of virgin olive oil in the food to help lubricate it.

I also give him a tablespoon of canned pumpkin  after each meal for fiber.

I’m now feeding him four times a day, so the amounts will be smaller and easier for him to move and to digest his food. We have the sense that these steps seem to be working, including our holding him upright (see photo above) for 15 to 20 minutes after each feeding. Gus seems to enjoy this attention.

In the course of my research, I’m reading a lot about the gastrointestinal diseases that dogs often get. The symptom of these disorders closely mirror Gus’s symptoms – especially the yellow and foamy quality of the regurgitations, which occur mostly in the morning. From his bowel movements, Gus is definitely processing his food, it is getting through the esophagus.

One of the most common forms of treatment for megaesophagus is the Bailey Chair, a custom made high-chair where the dog sits to eat his her food. Animal people are passionate about their solutions and ideas. People who think differently are often shamed. Those of us who share the lives of their dogs are familiar with this pattern. The vast majority of people are supportive and sympathetic, and this is the only flak I have been getting.

Some people are unhappy with me, they think I am being stubborn or lazy for not having ordered the chair, but they misread or misjudge me. I have no ego about the medications vets tell me to take, and am administering all of them to Gus. I’m not prepared yet to put any egg in a single basket, I will continue to consult weekly with our vet, and when necessary, specialists.

I also love to do my own research. As of now, I have no certain cures to offer. Megaesophagus is not a curable disease, unless Gus grows out of it himself. From the X-rays, I think that is unlikely.

Nobody I know of has found a way to cure this disease, and Maria and I want more for Gus than a few good years. Maria and I are completely in synch about Gus’s treatment, we constantly compare notes and observations. We love and trust our vet.

A number of people have begun contacting me – megaesophagus rescue groups – offering to take Gus if his condition worsens and we tire of treating him. That is a complex ethical and moral decision foe me, as well as Maria. I don’t believe in prolong the lives of seriously ill dogs, I believe that can sometimes be cruel and selfish, and it is sometimes workable and appropriate. The idea makes me intensely uncomfortable.

As a rule, I don’t believe in handing ill dogs off to other people, it doesn’t seem right to me. I do not ever want to keep a very sick dog alive because it is the easier decision to make. Above all, he is voiceless and I am his advocate. He cannot speak, so I must speak for him. I do not believe dogs tell me when they want to die, that is a human construct and projection, it is, sadly, my job.

That does not only mean keeping him alive at all costs by any means.

If Gus cannot live a natural and relatively healthy life, I would be inclined to help him leave the world in peace and comfort, not to hand him off to a stranger and prolong his confusion and suffering. Just doesn’t seem right to me, although many people do it, which is their business.

Fortunately, we are not anywhere near close to that decision. Looks like Gus is  stabilizing and we can happily live with this disease as it presents itself now. If that changes, we will think about it anew.

I just am focused on where I get my information. I’m sure the Bailey Chair is effective, it is just not recommended for us right now. I also don’t wish to be distracted from my own experimentation and research. I strictly avoid these sometimes hysterical dog fights over treatments and training, I just don’t care to participate and am happy we don’t need a  new can of Odor Off this week. Next week might be different.

I would rather have no more vomit dreams.

Given the way he can stand on his legs to eat, and the length of time we hold him upright in our laps, our vet and the specialists we have consulted all feel special eating chairs are not  something that will do us much good right now. Gus is only occasionally spitting anything up.

I forgot to mention I also give Gus a chewable Pepcid tablet twice a day.

We have ordered two similar wooden benches that perform much the same function as a Bailey Chair. They will be here if we need the.  Our vet also recommended acupuncture, and we of course agreed. I think it has been helpful.

So I think we’re moving in the right direction and so is he. I talk to Robin Gibbons, or wonderful breeder, regularly and reassure her that Gus’s condition has nothing to do with her breeding, none of the other dogs in the line have it. I would enthusiastically recommend anyone getting a puppy from her, we would do it again in a flash.

She has produced some wonderful dogs, including Gus.

Gus very much wants to be better, and attitude is important. He is one of those dogs who love life and will fight for it.

We are with him as far as we can go.

He is not interfering with our work or lifestyle and is giving us a lot of fun and affection. We have settled down in this short period into a cruising speed. If he does or doesn’t regurgitate it is not a big deal, it’s just now. If he hasn’t regurgitated any food – or just a little – for a month, I’ll be very happy

There is not much about megaesophagus that I do not know about now, but I am pretty sure Gus is in a good place today, and hopefully this week. The future of this disease is unpredictable. It could get better, it could get worse. I’m going with better. I’ll keep on posting, thanks for the good words.