6 January

Hey Linda, I’m Like, Very Humane…And Stable, Sort Of…

by Jon Katz
I’m Like, Very Humane

My first message of the day came from a devoted reader of the blog named Linda Brown. She is brave, even admirable in many ways. And her message to me was timely.

She reads me faithfully even though she doesn’t appear to like me very much, and there is something noble about that. And it is comforting to see her name on a message. She is very consistent, sort of like an old shoe.

I wrote yesterday about my discomfort the sheep and donkeys must feel in such bitter cold, even though they have shelter and food.

Linda sent me a comment on my new blog comments section: “If you have to own sheep, you should have a barn that is equipped for them to be safe and warm in. if not, you should give them to someone who knows enough to properly take care of them.”

I can’t argue with that, every word is true. Linda could be speaking of my barn. And all trolls are not bad.

Actually, Linda, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability (sort of) and and being, like, really compassionate and humane.

All kinds of writers I once knew have gone down in flames, faded into the mist, yet  here I am, still going, annoying people, butchering animals,  living with chickens and donkeys and dogs on a small farm with a lots of frozen manure, a porch that needs a roof, a heart condition called angina, and a – 40 wind chill.

I went from being a very successful, best-selling author (millions and millions of books)  loaded with money,  to being a blogger with several billion readers – the most any blogger has ever had ever –  and then on to being broke,  cleaning up my dogs vomit and very colorful regurgitations sometimes two or three times a day.

I just got a free coupon online for two jugs of Odor Off, and you don’t get that for being inhumane. I can clean up a normal regurgitation in less than a minute, I keep the Lysol and odor remover right out on the kitchen counter, I feel  just like a First Responder rushing to an accident. I bring three paper towel sheets, first the Lysol, then the Odor- Off.  No traces left, guaranteed.

I think that I would qualify, not just as being humane, but BRILLIANTLY humane, even like, a GENIUS humane person. I can’t swear to the mental stability, I’ve moved a score of times, horrified every teacher I ever had, drove off countless friends, gave away all of my money, went bankrupt, cracked up, got divorced, sought help, lived alone in the woods for a year, shared my sorry story on the Internet, walked naked in a snow storm, started taking lots of photos for no apparent reason.

But I haven’t moved, taken valium or seen a shrink in several years.

For me, that is mental stability. I’m very close to being dull.

Just sayin. Please come visit, Linda, the sheep would love to meet you, and they are healthy and fat and hearty, and being so humane yourself, we should have a drink at the Bog together.

My friend Kelly would take good care of you, and we could continue or dialogue face-to-face. We could do Face Time once in awhile, or even Skype. Stay warm yourself, I hope you are someplace safe and warm, and that your people are taking good care of you.

And thanks, of course, for writing.

10 Comments

  1. Hi Jon, I must admit that you and I have very different thoughts on a lot of subjects, but I do enjoy reading your blog. Ii do believe you are humane and try really hard to do the right thing. It must be very hard to be what some people call ‘humane’ when you are living with -40 temperatures. I don’t know how anyone can survive those temps and I can’t even imagine what it feels like. I live in the Houston area so I’ve never experienced the weather you guys deal with. Please don’t get disgusted with those of us who have different opinions because I really, really enjoy reading about life on a farm in upstate New York. Wish you guys the best during this brutal winter.

  2. Are they offering a discount at the internet store where people go to buy their license for rudeness? Linda must have gotten quite a deal on her license.

  3. Jon, a gold star to you for this response to Linda! A couple things that I guess didn’t cross her mind are that sheep (your breeds anyway) are cold weather animals and your barn is fine for ‘normal’ winters in your area. How can evetyone, everywhere be prepared for every possibility all the time?
    Anyway, Kudos to you and hang in there!

  4. It’s hard not to respond (like Linda) after reading your description of animals in the cold. Others have feelings too. You seem, to me, to want to both provoke a response & then get angry when it’s not positive

  5. Jon, I look at your photos every day, don’t always read the blog, but I want you to know you are a crazy bugger and I love you. Greetings from Toronto where it is minus 21 and I won’t translate that into Fahrenheit, because I don’t want to scare myself.

  6. Omgosh Jon! That is like..absolutely hysterical. Even here in frozen MN your humor warms and makes us chuckle right down to our double insulated boots! Keep up the good work!
    Well,outside I go to feed the hairy,fat horses again…you know, in their warm, South facing, 3 sided leanto that I built them.

    Oh my…I just realized this- I too,am practically a Genius! Otherwise, how would you know to face it toward the South?

    Well, off to shovel poop. Keep the Genius coming!
    Stay warm 🙂

  7. To Jon, and Linda . . . having been a shepherd for 59 years (starting with my father at age 5), a 4-H leader of a market lamb club and a breeding club, owner of horses continuously since the age of 10, I think you, Jon, are doing a wonderful job of caring for your critters. Sheep, at least wooled sheep, as opposed to hair sheep, and equines of all manner are perfectly capable of surviving nicely in very cold weather. The only thing I was ever concerned about with my sheep was that the ewes had bedding to lie on so their udders didn’t get frost-bitten. Usually, though, their very thick wool covered their udders nicely. They do need protection from the bitterly cold wind chills we have been having, but NOT a warm barn. That is a perfect breeding place for pneumonia. I did not mention that I am also a Registered Nurse with 42 years experience in the field and worked as a nurse practitioner for 25 years. Pampering animals, at least livestock, is not a good thing to do.

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