All right, I’ll be honest. A number of doctors and nurses have cautioned me against being outside when the temperature falls well below zero. I have had open  heart surgery and also angina, and severe frostbite from running around pastures chasing donkeys in the middle of the night in the middle of blizzards.

The cold can play tricks with the heart, I know that. But I shovel and rake snow off the roof all the time, i’ve had no trouble.

I am one of those people they mean when they say older people with certain conditions need to stay inside sometimes. i never do, and I never regret it. I did yesterday, and I did regret it somewhat.

There was a lot of wind and the temperature was well below zero, as in – 20,  and I helped bring hay out and got Gus to eliminate and hauled water outside. At times like this I really want to help, I hate the idea of Maria doing all the chores along in that cold.

Maria was yelling at me to go inside, but what male listens to advice like that, men can be spectacularly vain and stupid sometimes, and being told what I can and can’t do makes me crazy under normal circumstances.

My fingers and toes started to throb, my chest started to ache, my very marrow seemed to be  freezing inside of me as the temperature fell and the wind picked up – and this was when it was – 4 degrees at 10 a.m.

My glasses fogged up and I couldn’t see so I reached up to take them off, and they fell into the snow. I couldn’t see them or find them and took my gloves off to root around in the frozen snow. Then, of course I had to kneel down and dig for the glasses. Then, of course, I slipped on the ice and fell over.

The wind whipped my snow-covered face and I felt it turning to brass.

This polished me off. I got the glasses and retreated into the house, Red was ahead of me, hopping up and down in the cold snow. I started shivering and couldn’t stop. My frostbitten toes and fingers were killing me, I felt like a popsicle that couldn’t melt.

I just ran to the fire and stood there, stomping my feet and shaking myself off.

And I felt exhausted, I felt drowsy like freezing people feel. Maria came in, saw me, shook her head in exasperation,  growled at me to lie down, wrapped me in blankets, brought me tea and hot chocolate. My teeth were chattering so loud the dogs came running in.

I was pale as a ghost and buried my face in blankets. My skin was frozen.

We have an understanding that we don’t tell each other what to do in these circumstances but sometimes that breaks down. Sometimes, we are each so willful it’s hard to watch. But I am dumber than she is, and that is a wicked combination when added to willfulness.

I was just spent and cold and fell asleep shortly.It felt like the life had just drained out of my body.

I didn’t know that Gus had hopped up and gone to sleep in my lap. Maria saw this and took a photo and asked me if I wanted it, and I said no, then I thought why not? I looked  ridiculous, but I felt so much better and Gus stayed with me  until I woke up, I think he must have added a bit to the warmth. I inhaled the hot chocolate.

(Red was at my feet, as always, Fate was with Maria.)

Did I learn my lesson? Are men rational? Do they listen? Do pigs fly?

I sort of learned my lesson. I was out there again this morning, but just for 15 minutes. And when my glasses fogged up, I just went inside. I will not hide inside during snowstorms, but I will dress carefully and be more self-aware. The doctors don’t live on a farm, and nobody lives forever.