I see life as a continuous journey sometimes, from darkness into light, and then back again, from life to the news, to my own spiritual evolution, or lack of it. I was sick yesterday, a day or darkness and confusion, I woke to heartening news, bright sunshine and feeling strong and clear once again.

When you have heart disease and take lots of medications,  you get sick  more than you used to, there are always side affects to medications, good and bad. I know what to do now, I just go to bed for a day and recover. As with mental illness, I am fortunate, I get to recover every day.

When I am sick, I feel it’s necessary to let people know, some people get anxious when they don’t see anything on the blog, and the last thing I want to do these days is make anybody nervous.

Being sick in public, even quickly, is a mixed bag. There are lots of lovely messages of comfort and good wishes, which I appreciate, and there are those odd kinds of social media message that make me uneasy. The former is about me, the latter messages are about them.

One woman messaged me to tell me she thinks I get sick a lot, as if I don’t know how often I do or don’t get sick (not very often). I wonder what it is she is trying to tell me.

Several people warned me not to go to the Mansion and infect vulnerable people, as if I would do that without being asked, my illness is not infectious. But if there is any evidence I could make others sick, of course I will say home.

And listen folks, here is the truth, I have two chronic illnesses, diabetes and heart disease, and I take a lot of medications for each, and I will tell you from the heart that I will get sick once in awhile. Let’s just get used to it.

This is not a drama for me, it is my life, and it does not keep me from doing one single thing I want to do in life – love my wife, write my books and blog, walk my dogs,  take my photos, do good deeds when I can. I know where I am, nobody needs to tell me.

I keep my own dignity by managing my own life, and to be honest, I’m quite proud of that. There is no perfect life, and I wouldn’t care for one if there was.

In our boundary-less time, people feel the need to warn and lecture people they don’t know about things they know nothing about. Social scientists will eventually have to figure out if this was a good or bad thing. I don’t like it much myself. I share my health because I have promised to be open about my life and not cheat my readers, but I also manage my health quite well and have  very good advice when I need it.

Obviously, I would never endanger the residents of the Mansion. And getting sick once in awhile does not mean I am unhealthy. I’m told I’m in quite good shape, and that’s how I feel.

The fight for boundaries in our culture never ends, and I think that is a good discussion for us to have and keep having.

Today is a day of joy and light for me, I hope be at the Mansion Christmas Party this afternoon, I want to see for myself the gifts and decorations pouring in from the Army Of Good.

The Kabbalah talks of the 99 per cent world. We live most of the time in a 1 percent world, the world of fear, anger, argument, health concerns, money and bad news.

Yet there is another side to life, say the mystics. They called it the 99 per cent, the “source of all lasting fulfillment.  All knowledge, wisdom, and joy dwell in this realm.” This is the domain the Kabbalists call Light.

Whenever we experience joy, healing, love, we have made contact with this realm, mostly through some action we have taken in our daily lives – a good deed, a hug from a child, the love of a friend, a success in the material world, an encounter with nature.

All joy flows from the 99 per cent, this has nothing to do with politics or the news.

This is what I feel today, that I have gone from the 1 per cent and made contact with the other world, my true world. There is the discomfort of being sick, there the joy of being well. There is the loneliness of feeling poorly, the joy of being cared for by someone who loves me. There is the coldness of the dark, and beauty of the light.

This morning, when I came downstairs to shower and eat (I had two dogs to keep my company all day, Gus and Red), I saw all of the color and light – the 99 percent – awaiting me, as if I was being welcomed back.

I saw all the color and sunlight and brightness, I came back into the Light.

This year, at long last, I am understanding what Christmas means. It is the realm of the 99 per cent in many ways.