I was surprised when I wrote a few weeks ago that Maria and I were talking about living in New Mexico, a number of people were upset – more than I might have thought, I tend to think of myself as being generally friendless, with one or two exceptions.

It didn’t occur to me that anyone would be especially upset if I moved away. I have become more independent and comfortable in solitude than I was before, I tend to be disappointed in friendships with me, they don’t seem to last very long or be especially deep. I guess I have generally given up on them.

But a lot of people said they were upset, and so I wanted to share where we are with our New Mexico reveries. We did love it there. We also love it here, and we aren’t unhappy or restless or need enough to want to tear up our lives and move. Our creativity thrives here, and that is a big deal.

We worked hard and sacrificed much to get where we are, and I have learned again and again in life that if you are not happy where you are, you are not going to be magically happy somewhere else.

I always took myself along, and that was always the problem.

I’m making my stand here, and I am happy and fulfilled. So is Maria. There are a lot of things I could hardly bear to leave up here – people, the farm, the Mansion residents, the refugee kids and adults, and yes, even the winters, they focus my character and commitment. Our animals are very happy here.

But it occurred to me – and Maria agrees – that we don’t have to be all one thing or the other. We can keep our lives and work here and still make New Mexico a part of our lives, and a source of our creativity.

If we plan ahead, there are very cheap flights – some as low as $350 from here to there, we saw some lovely inexpensive apartments and homes for rent online, we have never used AirBnb before, we can rent a lovely house for $95 a week just where we would like to be.

So if we start saving up and plan carefully, we can get back there for a week or two every year, or most years. It is something we can do if we truly wish to do it, and I think we do. I can blog from anywhere, and Maria is deeply connected to New Mexico. She needs to keep it in her life.

I call this the Third Way. We don’t have to uproot ourselves and leave our animals, friends and community. We have excellent pet and farm sitters, and we have become skilled at planning ahead financially, so we could save some money monthly and keep New Mexico in our lives. A surprising but lovely idea.

I also proposed that once in a while Maria, go there by herself for a few weeks or a month, perhaps to study weaving or another creative journey – like the trips to Gee’s Bend or India. That would be even more affordable and we have always supported the creative freedom of one another (as long as she doesn’t move away and buy a farm like I did.).

We can’t have everything we want, but we can have enough of what we want to be happy and challenged. So that’s where we are with New Mexico, we are thinking about going there for five or six days in March or April, and perhaps make that an annual vacation. Still just an idea, but one we like. We waited to see if the pull of New Mexico faded, and it didn’t. But neither did our love for Bedlam Farm and our village.

It is good to know we live it here too much to move away. And also good to New that the inspiration and connection we both felt in New Mexico does not have to vanish from our lives.

I am learning to be flexible and creative in this way. It is new for me.