Each day now, the Gray Hen does something new. She sits alone in the middle of the yard and waits for me to come and sit with her. When I take her photo and stand up, she is gone. I do not know where she goes, but it is not with the other hens. Chickens, like sheep, are not known for their individuality, they are always with one another.

These days, the Gray Hen is very much alone.

I wanted to be honest and clear about the Gray Hen. I admire chickens for their industriousness, but I do not love chickens. I love dogs, and I love donkeys, and sometimes I am fond of the sheep.

I do not name chickens, cry for them, or mourn them when they are gone. It is true that the Gray Hen and I have connected, I think she is teaching me valuable lessons on mortality, the common experience which even the ideologues of the left and the right will inevitably share.

To me, the lesson of the Gray Hen is what I call  Radical  Acceptance.

According to Psychology Today, Radical Acceptance, a philosophy advanced by psychologists in 1993, is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot or choose not to change. Radical Acceptance advocates saying yes to life, just as it is.

People often complain that life i snot fair or can’t be true, as if refusing to accept the truth will keep it from being true, or that accepting reality means agreeing with it. People are already writing me saying they are in tears over the gray hen, and that is their choice. It is not my choice.

Acceptance is not about agreement. Suffering and pain is a part of life, no one wants to experience either. But no one can deny either. I love my dogs, they will all die, most likely well before me.I accept that, it is neither fair nor unfair, it is life.

Resisting the truth creates more misery, radical acceptance offers a path to less misery.

My granddaughter, for example, lives hundreds of miles away from me, and the truth is, we may love one another, but we are not likely to be an integral part of one another’s life.  People often tell me that is not so, amazing things lie ahead of us.

I accept that it will be what it is, and not more, and what it is is good. It is not a drama or a tragedy for me, it is just an undeniable reality of both of our lives.  I made my choices in life and stand by them.

The people who assure me that we will be deeply involved with one another are well meaning, but to me, are fighting off what seems clearly the reality to me. Accepting that makes it easier for me to accept. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about it.

To me, the message of the Grey Hen is Radical Acceptance. I know she is going to die soon, and so, I think, does she. It is not a drama for her, or for me, there is not need to deny it or to wring my hands about it. She understands life better than many humans, I think, she does not rail against that which she cannot change. She is easy being alone, and seems ever more reflective.

The Gray Hen is calm, increasingly fearless, she seems to give off a spiritual air these days.

She has dignity, permits me to get close to her with my camera, even to touch her. She knows things I do not know.