The news got personal this morning my wife, who has a dark and twisted sense of humor, told me that Kim Jong-Un, the  Supreme Leader of North Korea, had accused our Supreme Leader of being a “dotard,”  a word I was not conscious of ever having heard before.

A man of many words, he also called our President a “Frightened Dog.”

Maria had a a mischievous look in her eye, and she said “Kim Jong-Un must be talking about you!” Then she just cracked up and hurried off to her studio. She was quite pleased with herself.

I was not quick to find the humor in this, but I went right online, Googled “dotard,” which I strongly urge people reading this not to do (it is really boring), and found 870,000 listings under the name.

I was laughing even less when I looked up the word in a dictionary: “dotard: an old person, especially one who has become weak or senile.”

Gulp.

Just this morning, I forgot where my Iphone was, couldn’t remember the name of our electrician, and ask Maria to help me tie my  boots, one of my knees hurt and I didn’t want to bend it.  Good Lord, I thought, Kim Jong- Un really might be talking to me.

The other night, I forgot where the heart pills I’m supposed to carry around in a silver case were. I could have expired eating my tilapia at the Bog.

And was he subtly taking a shot at Red or Gus or Fate with the “frightened dog” crack?

Just yesterday, Carol Ann from Detroit e-mailed me and called me a “deranged old lunatic” for letting Gus try to herd she sheep. She said only an old fool would do that. “Old lunatic” is another meaning of “dotard.”

I’ve coined a new word this morning, right here on the blog, I called it “dotardage,” it is the state of being addled, senile or confused by the news. It is the state I am in, and I thank Kim Jung-Un for giving me a name for it.

This name-calling is familiar to me. I admit when I was a student in middle-school, we used to gather on opposite sides of the playground and hurl names and other insults and apples from our lunch boxes at one another (not the cookies).

I tried to imagine pointing across the schoolyard to Jimmy Holleran, Chairman and Founder of the Irish-Kids-Who-Beat-Up-Jewish-and-Italian- Kids- Society and saying, “you are a dotard!” He would have turned and run for his life, I bet. As it was, I just called him a “butthole.” And he whacked me on the side of the head.

Just for perspective, I’m not completely addled. The little boys from middle-school seem to be in charge of the world. And they have nuclear weapons, not apples. You can cry about it or laugh about it. Speaking for me, I was laughing all morning, once I got over the dotard thing.

It seems that the word “dotard” comes from “dotage,” a term, says Merriam-Webster referring to a “state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise and alertness.” If you want to say it out loud, it rhymes with “goat-herd.”

Not surprisingly,  Shakespeare liked the word: “I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,” Lenato says in “much ado about nothing.”

Herman Melville one-upped Kim Jong-Un, he used the word to insult a shark in one of his poems: “Eyes and brains to the dotard lethargic and  dull, pale ravener of horrible meat.” Wow, talk about nasty, Mellville would have loved posting on Twitter, he could have been a Supreme Leader himself.

The more I got into this, the more I became fascinated with the term.  Mr. Kim used a Korean version of the word “neukdari,” according to the New York Times, a common derogatory term for an old person in Korea. Why, I huffed, are there derogatory terms for old people in Korea? 

The connotation is someone who is lazy, useless and demented. Hmmm, this gets deeper all the time. Kim Jong-Un is not only ragging on me, but he has also perfectly described our President. It’s making more sense.

Mr.Trump, always one to elevate a dialogue or disagreement maturely, responded quickly and in statesmanlike fashion, calling Mr. Kim a “madman” on Twitter and promising to test him as never before.

Okay, there are some people out there who really think this isn’t funny, since the little boys these days are threatening each other with nuclear war, not apples. People on social media often get upset when I try humor, as some of them are not familiar with the concept.

But as I am well into my dotardage, I cannot be held fully responsible for what I write. What do you expect from a dotard?

I’ve decided to respond in a positive way, I am an optimist,  assume I will be here tomorrow to write some more and post some more photos.

In fact, I already have some ideas about going forward: I think I’m going to organize a “Dotard March For Lunacy”, except I think that is already occurring in Washington. They call it Congress.

Perhaps we can march for peace instead, in Washington, that would seem like a senile or lunatic idea.

I think the news has finally come my way, finally become relevant to me, and of keen personal interest.

Perhaps I could call up the Lake George Steamboat Authority and organize a “Senility And Weakness” ride around Lake George, we could arrange for lunch to be served and even dance to the disco music so beloved a generation ago. Or we could throw tomatoes or roast potatoes at each other across the deck.

I’ve got it. The Bedlam Farm Dotards Society. Share  your dotage with donkeys And Hens.

I will be the first to join.

“Frightened Dogs” are especially welcome.