Bill has up and down days, today was an up day. He loves flowers, and i brought him a beautiful vase of flowers from our garden. I returned to the Mansion later in the day, and I was surprised to find a package addressed to Bill from Pennsylvania. The box was well sealed and had a packet of dry ice sitting on top of some beautiful cupcakes.
Inside was a not from Ryan S. “Dear Bill,” it read, “I’m just writing to thank you for being openly gay and for all the work you have done for the gay community. It is because of gay men like you that I am able to live as freely as I can today.”
As you can see, Bill, who is 82 and suffered a stroke last year, was deeply touched by the box of cupcakes, he broke out in the widest grin I have seen on his face. That message meant a lot to him. Somebody cares. Somebody is listening.
The open hearts of the gay world are reaching out to Bill, as requested, sending him letters, notes, and now some cupcakes. Bill loves sweets, and he instantly offered to share the cupcakes with the other Mansion residents. These messages are powerful signals from the wider world, from the community that is so important to him and that he misses so much.
“I just woke up,” he kept saying, “I’m trying to get my head around this.” Bill often talks about the difficulties of being gay in a mostly straight world. “It’s not a simple thing,” he says. “But I love being gay. It’s who I am.” Yesterday, he talked about his struggle to find good reasons for living, today, he seemed to have found a few.
Bill still won’t try the James Patterson audio books I brought him, he is having trouble mustering the will to turn on the CD player next to his bed. We went outside for a walk on the grounds, he sat on a chair for a while watching the construction of a new 10-bed memory facility the Mansion is building as an extension of their current assisted care facility.
Bill loves to sit and watch the trees come down. He is happy to see Red and me, and he likes to talk and be listened to. Your messages brought some light to his eyes and his smile. He does not feel so lost or alone.
That is a great step towards recovery. In a day or so, we will take another walk together.
If you choose, you can write Bill c/o Bill, The Mansion, 11 S.Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816. And thanks Ryan. I’m told the cupcakes are delicious.