Robert is quick to tell me that he was a builder, it is still his identity. He talks about the kitchens and counter tops he loved to make. People at the Mansion often take care to remind strangers of the work they did, it is important to them. Robert is married to Shirley, they are the only married couple at the Mansion. When married couples come to assisted care, usually one of them is ill and one is not.

Robert came to be with his wife Shirley. I got to know Robert when he submitted a story for the new book “Tales Of The Mansion,” now for sale for $10 from Battenkill Books. You can order this wonderful book here, or call the store at 518 677 2515.

Robert won first place for his short story, he is on the cover of the book.

I’ve learned to approach the residents carefully and thoughtfully as I try to learn how I can possibly help them. They are not used to outsides offering to give them things. I am always careful how I do it.

Robert was sitting on the porch today by himself, he looked lonely, and I asked him how Shirley was doing. He sighed, I can’t discuss the details of our conversation.  He looked a bit down.Time to try to help.

He gave up everything to come and be with Shirley in the Mansion.

The Mansion residents are proud and independent, they never ask for anything or acknowledge needing help.  They are always startled when asked this question, and they need time to think about it and get comfortable with it. Many of the residents have no idea what Red and I are doing there.

Some of the men dislike and fear dogs and we keep away from them.

I do it this way.

“Robert, is there anything I can do to help you?”

“No, Jon, thanks very much. That is kind. I don’t need anything?”

“Great, Robert, that’s good. I’m just curious. Is there anything you miss a lot being here?”

“Well, he said,”I do miss my house. And I miss Builder Magazine, I guess. I was a builder you know, and Builder Magazine has all kinds of interesting articles. I miss it.”

“Would you like me to get a subscription for you? I can do that.”

“Oh, really, Builder Magazine? I could pay you for that.” He looked at me, disbelieving.

(The Mansion is a Medicaid residence, and money is always an issue for the residents, it is one reason they are often afraid to ask for things, they are concerned about whether or not they can pay, and they often assume they will have to pay for the things they receive.)

“It’s not necessary for you to pay, Bob, I can take care of that. I have a small fund that some good people donate money to. You have other things to worry about.”

I see his eyes light up, the delight and relief in his face.

“Well, thank you very much. That would be wonderful, to read Builder Magazine.”

Then I ask Robert what other books and magazines he loved to read. He mentioned National Geographic photography books several times. I went home and ordered two books for Rob, one a National Geographic Book with 2,500 animal photos and another, also from National Geographic on strange and beautiful buildings of the world. Shirley loves animals.

The other residents of the Mansion will also enjoy those books when Robert is done with them.

I know now that no one at the Mansion asks for help or admits needing help. If I accepted that right away, I would be stopped cold. But they all need something, it is my job to figure out what it is. Their needs and interests are small.  You just have to keep asking and sniffing around, sooner or later they reveal what they need. I’m often glad that I was a reporter.

I got a subscription to Builder Magazine, and when it comes, I will put it in Bob’s name. Every builder should have it to read.

You can write to Robert c/o The Mansion, 11 S. Union Avenue, Cambridge, N.Y., 12816.