The other  day, I wrote about a meeting I have to attend today out of town. There is a lot of anger in me about this meeting, I am going to defend a friend who has been treated unfairly, in part because of his friendship with me,  and I wrote about “The Wolfman” (one of my favorite movies) inside of me.

I wrote about how I was struggling to deal with the rage this meeting has re-awakened in me, I thought of Lon Chaney’s Larry Talbot begging to be locked up when the full moon rose, he knew what he might do. I know what I might do, and I don’t wish to do it. All my life, I’ve struggled with anger and hurt, and I wish to be done with that, to leave it in the past.

The meeting is today and I have been thinking about ways to control this anger and turn it into something productive and meaningful, if positive. I messaged a friend, a healer, and asked for her thoughts. She mentioned the idea of Righteous Anger, a Christian notion I am familiar with.

Righteous Anger is justified, according to Christianity if it reflects anger towards sin, not personal experience,  and also towards what would anger God – avarice, murder, cruelty to the poor.

“Be angry, and yet do not sin;” says the Bible in Ephesians 4:26-27…”do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.”

My meeting is important to me, but yet I do not think original sin or God really enter into it, it is more mundane and  unthinking than that. I do feel my friend has been mistreated and harmed carelessly and thoughtlessly, yet I am intensely uncomfortable feeling that the Wolfman, who used to dwell inside of me, is still holed up in his cave somewhere inside of me.

My friend did have another idea for me, and this struck closer to home. She said that anger comes from a need or needs that are not being met, and if you can figure out what the needs are and be present with them then the anger will no longer be necessary.

I liked considering this meeting in that way in my mind. Rather than using anger and argument and judgment, wouldn’t it be better for me to take anger and righteousness out of it – I don’t care to experience either so why should I inflict it on someone else? – and simply say what it is I need.

If my needs and my friend’s needs cannot be met, then I don’t need to rage and rail or pout, I can simply leave the meeting and get on with my life.

Doing good is better than arguing about what is good. Argument accomplishes nothing, as does anger.

So on the way to the meeting, I will think about what I need, and state it simply and honestly, and the rest is in the hands of the fates. I should not be invested in winning or losing, rather in being authentic and clear. And as just as I can be.

I will speak on behalf of my friend and of myself and of the hurt that I have felt, and then listen.

Vengeance is not a test of character, but of weakness. Anger is not the tool of sincerity. I’m not seeking surrender or apology, I would like the Wolfman to stay asleep down there. I want him to “sit” and “stay,” just like Gus in the photo.

If I can do that, then this will not be a bad day, but a good day. The anger will have been put to a good purpose.

And I will not be giving the devil an opportunity.

See you later.