Gus has been with us a little more than a week, and we are delighted to have him. He is housebroken (one accident in the kitchen, one in my story, both early on) loves his crate, sleeps throughout the night, has damaged or chewed nothing of ours, is riddled with personality, gets along with both dogs, loves everyone he meets, is getting intensely socialized, has done two therapy visits, and is reliably adorable.

He (mostly) comes when called, knows his name, he does not yet sit or stay, we are waiting on those.

I wanted to share some of the things we have done that have worked.

– We are clear on our intentions. Maria and I talk about training, we are on the same page, we ask the same things using the same simple language in the same way. We are positive (Maria more naturally than me), consistent and speak with one voice.

– In the first weeks and months of a puppy’s life, we rely heavily on crates. For housebreaking. For calming training. For a sense of order and sanity in the house. Gus eats all of his meals in the crate. We cover the crate with a towel or blanket and he often goes in there to sleep when he is tired. Whenever he goes in the crate, there is a bit of kibble or a treat or toy waiting for him. He no longer cries out in the crate, and sleeps from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. without a noise or an accident.

We take water up after 6 p.m., which helps. Maria usually gets up around 3 a.m. to let him out, he runs back into the crate. Ten minutes after he eats, we take him out of the crate (or he usually runs out) put a leash on him, and walk him quickly out the door (the crate is just a few feet away). When he eliminates, we praise him, we say “good Gus” in a happy voice and we say “get busy” when he goes, we label the behavior we want. That way, when he goes, we praise him and when we say “get busy,” he usually goes.

We take  him out at least a dozen times a day. The idea is to not give him the chance to  make a mistake, only to succeed. When he goes out, he eliminates, when he eliminates he is praised and sometimes rewarded. It’s just that simple. Going outside becomes a habit and a tradition and dogs are old fogies all, they love tradition and routines.

When he is obnoxious or gets the “zooms” as puppies do, or if he gets too rambunctious or bothers us, we toss a toy into his crate and he runs in and we close the door. When he is calm for at least three minutes, we let him out.

– I cannot say enough about crate training. It not only makes housebreaking quick and easy, more importantly, it teaches the dog how to be calm and safe and still. Dogs should not ever wreak havoc in the house. It is not a playground, it is where we share our human space with the dogs, and we expect the house to be quiet and safe for us, our crate. It’s a dignity question. They can tear around the yard all day if they wish. But not in the house.  A crate teaches the dog how to do that in a safe and positive way.  A crate is just what dogs look for when they live in nature – a small, confined and safe space.

-I well understand that many people believe it is cruel to put a dog in a crate, I hear people say all the time they just “can’t bear to do it, she hates it.” I feel bad for the dogs.  People who know dogs well understand the importance of crate training.

Not only are crates not cruel, they are an invaluable way to help your dog be grounded, and to train him or her in a positive and effective way. And to keep your own peace of mind and clarity. Gus has no idea is being trained but we are training him all the time as an organic part of life.

-Maria and I have a big edge. We both work at home, so we can keep an eye on Gus, correct behaviors we don’t wish to see before they become habits. If he bites our fingers or hands, we say “no” sharply (no teeth on people, ever) and if he persists I flick him on the nose with a finger. He doesn’t like it.

-Outside, for just a few minutes a day, I bring some treats I know he likes and practice “come.” I stand about five or six feet away, hold out the treat and say “Gus, come,” just ONE time. If he ignors me or blows me off, I turn away and wait a few minutes. Most of the time, he sees the treat and comes running, and when he gets to me, I say “good ‘come’ in an enthusiastic voice. Every day I stretch the distance by a foot or so, now he is coming reliably up to ten feet, he is unreliable further than that as of now.

(Remember, puppies have small bladders and smaller attention spans. Cut them some slack, and keep expectations small, gradually expanding as they get older. Also remember that cute little puppies become big dogs. I stop bad habits right away.)

-I have a cardinal rule. Never (ever) give a command you can’t enforce. I don’t ask Gus to come unless I know he well, or unleash I have a long lede on him to pull him towards me. If he is sniffing or looking around, as puppies do, I wait. He must obey my commands, and I must not yell them a dozen times. One single command, one time, one round of praise, each time, and one time. “Gus, come.” and “Good come.” Every day, he gets more responsive.

-There is no simpler way to make a dog crazy or confused than tossing a million words at him or her. Use one or two word commands, say them clearly and loudly, and then be quiet for a bit. If it doesn’t work, take a few breaths and try again. Calmly. You have a better attention span than he does.

I respect Cesar Millan, he says a lot of smart stuff, but I am sorry  he sells a book named “How To Raise The Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood And Beyond,” for $16. There is no perfect dog, just as there is no perfect child, and to suggest that perfection is the goal of training is a disservice to the person and the dog.

It simply sets both up for failure. The big trainers like to make dog owners feel stupid so they will think training is beyond them and they will purchase expensive videos and guides.

I am not perfect, Gus will not be perfect. Each of us is an individual, we are all different, we live in different places, have different emotions, strengths and weaknesses. There is no one way to train a dog, any more than there is only one way to get a dog.

I make mistakes, I lost my temper, I get distracted, I get impatient. Gus and I make our mistakes together, and if they are not chronic or brutal or abusive, then we forgive each other and try again and again until we get there. Love binds us together.

Don’t look for a perfect dog, don’t ask yourself to be the perfect dog trainer. You will get disappointed and quit, and your dog will suffer for it.

I offer this experience as a reflection of what I do, that does not mean you should do it or that it will necessarily work for you. We are our own gurus here, nobody knows your dog better than you do. I see it is a chess match, he makes a move,  I make a move. Love girds the project.

I will keep on sharing these training experiences, I hope you find some of them useful.