If you Google the word “cute,” the most frequent use of the terms it is applied to puppies.

For the first time in my life, I used the word “cute” the other day. I referred to Gus, the new Boston Terrier puppy we are getting on Friday. On my social media pages, the most common words used for Gus are “cute” and “adorable.” Every time I put a photo of him, that’s the first word people think of.

Fair enough, puppies are supposed to be cute.

Maria insists that I am often “cute, and I accept the word as a term of endearment and affection. Yet I don’t ever like it, even when I use it, even when it is used on me, and I believe I am about the farthest thing from “cute” a living being can get.  Gus, on the other hand, is another story.

What is my problem with this word? I just can’t bring myself to say it, it makes me wince, and I will be careful not to use it around Gus either, I am not really into the term, even around my granddaughter Robin. I have no need of her being “cute” or wish for her to be “cute,” I’m not even sure what the word means.

People like me were not raised with the idea that they were adorable, my father, mortified at my odd ways, my bed-wedding and hatred of sports, didn’t think there was anything cute about me. My mother simply thought I was a genius, there is nothing cute about that.

I hope nobody sees this as criticism,  people should use whatever words they want to wish, the term “cute” is not offensive in any way, at least not to me. It just always makes me queasy.

But the term is offensive to many other people, especially young women who see the term as demeaning or trivializing. I have sometimes called Maria “adorable,” but I don’t think of her as “cute”, for me, that is not an apt term for a person who is so beautiful and substantial. And strong.

Dictionary.com defines “cute” as attractive, especially in a dainty way, pleasingly pretty, as in a cute child, or a cute little apartment.” Okay, that does seem patronizing and diminutive to me, I don’t see myself (or my dogs) anywhere in there.

I have never referred to my border collies as “cute,” they are working dogs, they can be beautiful but I see it as a trivializing term for them. I can’t imagine what Maria means when she calls me “cute,” I suspect it means she sometimes sees me as  endearing (sometimes not),  another of the dictionary definitions of “cute.”

I found an interesting dissection of the term on a website called “Thought Catalog,” the piece explained the differences to some women between being cute, pretty, sexy and beautiful.

Each term has different connotations for different people, and speaking only for myself, I would be very reluctant to call any woman or man “cute” at any age, it seems to focus attention on what is least important and interesting about women. I never call my granddaughter Robin “cute” because that is not what is important to me about her, or what i hope she sees as being important about herself.

Sometimes the things she does – when she dances – are cute, for sure.

I can’t say I have liked the people I know who think of themselves as “cute,” I most often want to slug them or get out of the room.

The writers on the website LovePanky –  a great name for a website – have a different point of view, they urge women to never take offense when being called “cute,” it is nothing but a compliment they say. Men love women who are cute, according to them.

There are also many discussions online about the difference between being “cute” and “hot,” but none of these apply to me or my dog, so I’ll just glide over them.

I am a near absolutist when it comes to free speech, and since I use whatever words I wish, I urge other people to do the same thing. I do not tell anybody else what words to use.

I am not sure why I am so uncomfortable with the word, I think I share the feminist point of view that it is trivializing and demeaning in anyone who is over four years old, and even for some who are not.

I realize I will have to come to terms with “cute” when Gus arrives, because he strikes many people as being adorable. This is my problem to deal with, not his. He is on track to be a much-loved dog, and I am happy for him. I will conduct some “cute” exercises in my mind so that I can get more comfortable with the idea.

And I am happy to say that none of the people calling Gus cute online are saying that I am adorable.