Robin and I spent much of the weekend sticking our tongues out at one another and shaking our heads back and forth, and then our bodies.

I think we were dancing, but I can’t say for sure. By the time she left, we were smiling and grinning at each other, our pirate eyes connecting in the time-honored ways of mischievous and rebellious spirits.

It was like Fate and I glancing at one another in our “let’s make trouble looks” and then making some. Robin, I discover, is a fun baby. She is quick to laugh, quick to dance and quick to make her iron will known. Ah, that’s my granddaughter.

I have been pondering the proper role of the grandfather, and  apart from offering adoring and unconditional love, I have not found a lot of relevant guidance. People keep telling me there’s nothing like it, but I have not found that to be my experience. She has not transformed my life, or made it more or less meaningful. Not yet.

But she has added something rich and loving to it, and that is not a small thing.

For me, it isn’t true that there’s nothing like it.

There is a lot like it, at least in my idea of well-balanced life. I met a friend of mine at the Farmer’s Market yesterday, a mother and writer, and she said she had been reading some of my writing about me and Robin, and was puzzled about my uncertainty about my role. It must be that men are different from woman, she said. A woman wouldn’t raise that question.

Welcome aboard, I said, I don’t seem to be in sync with much of the world on anything, let alone this. Let’s say it is part of my charm, I added, hoping (unsuccessfully) to evoke a laugh. Laughter is considered heresy in America, I think, life is to be taken very seriously.

Maria asked me if I was sad that Robin was leaving and Emma urged me not to give up on the idea that I could be a major influence on Robin’s left. It was nice of Emma to want that.

To which I sensitively replied: “Really? When Robin is 10, I’ll be 80!  In a few  years I’ll be applying to live in the Mansion! Just what kind of influence am  I supposed to have?” Emma did not laugh, and the conversation faltered a bit. Poor kid, no wonder we have had our difficulties.

I got serious for a moment, and said if I could pass anything on to Robin, it might be the idea that a creative life is worth living, and if she were drawn to creativity, I hoped she would consider pursuing it as far as she can, avoiding day jobs, taking the plunge. I believe it is the pathway to a meaningful life.  Working for money alone makes us slaves.

Emma is saner than I am, and wiser. She didn’t seem too excited about my proposed role as the crazy grandpa taking photos of  donkeys up on the farm.

Seriously, I am not seeking a major role in Robin’s life. I do love her, and will continue to love her, and I believe she is beginning to know me, I hope she will love me when she  can. It seems to me she loves everyone she meets, just like Fate. If there is more than that, fine. If that’s what is is, I will be most happy.

When people ask me about my photographs, I describe them as images of emotional realism. That is, they come out of real life and seek to capture the emotions of people living their lives.

That’s how I feel about grandfathering. I am emotional about it, but also realistic. I don’t with to romanticize or emotionalize the experience. Perspective, perspective.

I love my life very much, there are no big holes in it. I am not looking for other people’s lives to meddle with, I wish to live mine. I believe Robin has already been powerful role model for me. I believe every time you love someone, a wildflower garden grows in your soul.

Robin and I know one another know, some seeds have been planted, we will see how they grew.