“Her drama was a drama not of heaviness but of lightness. What fell to her lot was not the burden but the unbearable lightness of being.” – Milan Kundera

Lightness and Weightiness are both linked to a philosophy of life, writes Erik Pevernagle. They are both choices in life. flightiness can often lead to a feeling of fear and oppression, felt as an unbearable burden. Then, if we are fortunate, the time comes to let loose, things can, at least temporarily lose some of their gravity.

I did not watch President Trump’s speech but I woke up in the middle of the night and was drawn to see and read the many comments and responses to it. I felt an easing of weightless, a more bearable lightness of being. For the first time in many months, people felt a bit better, nor worse. I felt lighter.

That is a big deal.

I could almost feel things letting loose a bit. I don’t traffic in illusion. We are terribly divided, and the next years will be difficult and painful. Also challenging and uplifting, I think. We will all figure out who we are and what we are about, and that is not a simple or pain-free process.

It isn’t that I think all of our divisions will be swept away, magically healed last night, or that my understanding of our world will return to the way it was, or that I will be at ease with many of the things that are coming.

But I think I saw some of what some of my friends have seen in this man that I have not seen, which is some compassion and empathy and sense of humanity. We are all different, we have different ideas, but we are all human beings, that unites all of us, and great leaders know that and speak to that. What unites us – life, death, freedom – is ultimately so much more powerful than what divides us.

Last night, I think the President found some of his better angels, and listened to them. He grew up and rose to the moment.

I relate to this in a personal way. He and I are the same age, and I know that change and rebirth are possible at any age, because I have done it. If we open up the rusty hinges to our soul, wisdom can come pouring in. Compassion also.

I felt humanity in him last night, and for the first time, and I was lighter for it, somewhat relieved. I don’t expect to agree with him or like everything he does, but I do expect to not be frightened or disheartened by him every time he opens his mouth or tweets. And I wasn’t this morning, I wasn’t frightened or disheartened. That felt good.

I can handle differences of opinion, I am not a prisoner of the left or the right. I can navigate between the arguments.

But I was having trouble coming to terms with the loss of compassion I was seeing across the new political spectrum, the darkness, the focus on the dark side, the divisiveness, assaults on strong women,  and verbal cruelty. The lack of compassion or humanity.

Compassion is central for me in a political leader, and that was causing my weightiness.I have always seen this as a compassionate country.

I felt some of that compassion and humanity from last night, and I accept it and give it the benefit of the doubt.

It didn’t appear staged or contrived to me, and if it is, that will quickly become apparent. Power can corrupt, but it can also be sobering and humbling.

For the sake of lightness, I hope his phone is taken away and melted down, and he listens rather than tweets. Everyone will still pay attention. In my mind, you can’t be a leader and an angry adolescent at the same time.

For the first time last night, I felt he was aware of me and of people like me, and at least nodded to our existence and sensitivities. We live here too.

The President has some interesting ideas that deserve discussion and consideration, not all this name-calling and childishness and drama. Perhaps that will happen now, he isn’t going anywhere soon. Leaders ought not to frighten and divide people, but work instead to find common purpose and ground, and unite them.

Last night, he showed at least an awareness of that obligation. My friends who supported him claimed they always saw this humanity in him, he just applied it narrowly and in an angry way. But they always argued it was there. Last night, I saw some of it.

For almost a year, every day seem to bring a new cruelty, or outrage or distortion or lie, and that is a choice, a philosophy of life, the Mother of weightiness.

I hope to remain lighter, but equally committed to my values.

Today, I am taking nothing for granted, I am going forward with my own notions of compassion and politics.

Maria and I are going to Albany to meet with some refugee volunteers and talk about helping with an art show the refugees are planning for the end of the month. Sunday, I hope to meet some refugee families, prepare Welcome Bags for the children, see if I can take my compassion farther and help in more direct ways.

I will do my work, the President will do his. I will respect him and be open to him, I hope he will do the same for me and the many people who hope he succeeds, even if they did not vote for him.

If I do, and he does, then there is hope for all of us, perhaps we can actually began the hard work of compassion and listening, even if we don’t always like what we hear, or get our way. Like he said earlier in the way, we will all have to negotiate, we will all have to give something up in order to do anything good.

Even if we struggle long and hard for what we each believe. Perhaps the time has come to let loose a bit, and lose some of our very weighty gravity.