Maria came home this afternoon. She was excited and exhausted, and we were very happy to see one another. We held each other for a long time, then I made some tea for us, Ginger tea. We talked for half an hour or so – it was so wonderful to feel her body. She took a shower, her first in days.

She came outside to see the animals and we did the chores today. I could see she was spinning, I made her lie down on the sofa and she fell asleep two barn cats appeared, they were so happy to see her also. She fell instantly into a deep sleep, and I will leave her there for as long as she sleeps.

When I saw her sleeping with the cats, I knew this was the photo to mark her coming home.

My world has returned to something familiar and stable, and it makes sense to me again. I realized today that I was experiencing a form of grief – not the real thing, but still, a loss. Be apart from someone for two weeks is not remotely the same thing as losing a lover or partner for good, I know that.

My life didn’t make sense in some ways.

This was is a kind of loss, a disorientation, a disruption, I felt a bit lost sometimes, and there was no time or opportunity to go through the painful stages of grief, just a feeling of bewilderment, of something familiar missing. Our connection was born out of grief and loss and fear, and that is a special kind of connection.

One day, one or the other of us will have to deal with a more permanent loss, and we will, I’m sure. I didn’t quite know what to expect. The excitement and accomplishment of her trip overshadowed anything else, as it should have. And in the few minutes that we have talked, I see she will be processing this for a long time. Those girls and women she helped are in her blood and imagination and they are now a part of our lives.

So I think, was India.

She was spinning with stories and images.

Maria is very happy to be home, she belongs her, her blood and spirit are in the house and among the animals, who rushed to be next to her, the way animals show love. She began organizing things in the way she does, re-arranging the fires in the stove, moving things around, she pulled a piece of bread out of her pocket from the airplane, she saved it for the donkeys.

I have always wrestled with learning disabilities, my mind runs in all directions, I circle and circle for hours to do things she does in minutes. Her energy always astonishes me.

So wonderful to have her home. The earth is revolving around the sun again. I wonder how long she will sleep. She is very eager to blog, that has become a part of her creativity, her art.