I have succeeded at some things in my life, failed at many others. One of my failures has always been my inability to slow myself down. My head is spinning when I wake up and when I go to sleep. Meditation has helped me, it is an important part of my life. So is reading, walking, listening to music, all calming and slowing things.

This week I want to slow things down a bit. I don’t want to stop blogging or writing my book or taking photographs, those are all things that are precious and grounding to me. I want to loosen up a bit, I want the holidays to mean something.

Next week, Maria and I are going to New York for two days to visit with my daughter and granddaughter in Brooklyn. The following week we are going to an old motel nearby to spend a night reading and talking and loving each other.

Those things will help.

This weeks is Christmas week, and while I am not a Christian, I am a follower and great admire of Jesus Christ, I wish he were alive today to teach us what faith and compassion really mean. I want to honor the week, not by going to elaborate dinners and family functions, but by going inward to a spiritual and empathetic place.

In the week of the Christmas Solstice, I’m going to bed earlier and sleeping a little longer. I have a stack of fine new books to read – right now Moonglow by Michael Chabon. And some albums to listen to. I have to learn Lightroom, my new photo management program.

I want to see two movies this week – Rogue One, and Manchester By The Sea. When the temperature rises above 8 degrees, I want to walk in the woods with Maria. I want to sit with friends and talk by the fire. I want to slow down a bit, which for me, means working and working, but also balancing the work with other things.

Writing and picture-taking is never work for me. I am avoiding the news this work, I’m not just interested right now. I am avoiding conflict and argument and people who favor conflict and argument. I will visit our friends in the Mansion with Red and help ensure that all of them have something under the tree Sunday.

I will give Maria the rest of her Christmas presents one by one, someone messaged me recommending diamonds as a gift, but he does not know me diamonds are not for us. Maybe a book or two.

And I will re-dedicate myself to learning how to be more compassionate, more empathetic,  to do more good. On Christmas, I think of Christ, and his passion for the poor and his outrage at greed and injustice and his love of healing, and I will imagine him coming to visit me and asking me what I am about.

In this age of hypocrisy and anger, when so many invoke his name but not his spirit, I hope to persuade him that me, a non-believer but a follower still, remembers what Christmas is really about. I hope to bring a smile to his face.

This is how I hope to slow down this holiday week.