After two weeks of rather intensive testing, I went to meet with my cardiologist, Dr. Steven Annisman today, in Bennington, Vermont. Maria came with me, she was adamant and I was grateful. You can’t go through all of these tests and not be anxious, not if you are human, and it was weighing on me.

I had Open Heart Surgery three years ago and I feel strong and healthy. After weeks of tests, you start to feel poorly.

About a month ago, I began feeling pressure in my chest when walking uphill. I called the doctor and  the nurse said I ought to go to the emergency room. I balked at that, the doctor examined my records and saw that my heart was strong and healthy as recently as August. So her ordered tests instead – a lot of tests, echocardiograms, nuclear injections to trace my blood flow, elaborate images and photographs of my heart.

I wasn’t sure what would be awaiting me this morning, we drove in a snowstorm, rather Maria did, and I was fully prepared to end up in surgery of one kind or another this week. Most of the people I talked to were sure something was wrong.

My guess was a blockage of some kind. But I also  had this other feeling – I was listening to my body and my body said I was healthy, this was a condition, not a crisis. Something new, something I needed to be aware of and treat. Stress, perhaps, this  has been a challenging time, or the arrival of cold weather.

I just didn’t feel sick.

This morning, I shoveled snow and raked it off of the roof for an hour, I felt no discomfort at all. It was only when I walk a good distance uphill. Dr. Annisman spent nearly an hour with us, and we had the longest talk we had yet had about my heart, my choices. He has examined every inch of my heart.

It turns out I was right. My heart  is strong, my heartbeat excellent, my blood pressure good. I had no other symptoms of heart trouble, and as soon as I got off the hill, the discomfort went away. No sweating, pain, dizziness, nausea.

And I was also wrong. There is a problem. Blood is not reaching the lower part of my heart when it is exerted and that was causing the pressure. There is no cure for that, no surgery and it will not prevent me from living normally, walking, shoveling, lifting whatever I can. My heart is good, it is just that a certain kind of exertion will cause me some pressure and pain. It is a kind of angina.

It happens.

The doctor prescribed medication to ease the discomfort, and he said I should do whatever I normally do, I should just try not to “torture” my heart. Always a good plan.

We talked about statins and other controversial medications, and we discussed finding a balance between prolonging life and preserving the quality of life. The statins caused great pain in my joints, and hives. He said he simply did not believe that most natural or holistic medications had been proven effective in dealing with heart disease or diabetes, and he suggested I try yet another low-level statin to decrease the chances of a stroke or heart attack down the road. I agreed.

I felt he was listening carefully to me, explaining my condition well, and taking my wishes into account. It was a good talk, our best, and at a time when I had begun to despair of any male doctor speaking to me much at all. Maria was also impressed. It makes such a difference when I feel I can talk to my doctor and he or she is listening.

So onward. A pill to take every day to ease this problem, a pill to hold in reserve if the pain gets severe. My heart looks good and strong, he said. And I feel good and strong. Time to move forward. The medical system, chaotic as it is, has worked for me once more, I think.

I have often joked with Maria about having some heart pills to pop in my mouth when things get crazy or I get too excited. Now I have one. If she yells at me, I can tap my heart and grab a pill. That will quiet her down. She is Sicilian.

This is a chronic condition, I will have to pay attention and figure it out. I am grateful this week and that Maria and I can go off to our Inn in Vermont Thursday evening and have a special dinner and stay one night.  I will not have to go and have any more needles or things stuck into me, at least for awhile. I don’t need surgery or anything inserted into my veins.

I will have to be a little more mindful of my heart. So many people have it so much worse.

A good way to celebrate Thanksgiving. My day of reckoning in life – we will all face it – is postponed. I have good and important things to do, and I will do them as well as I can. Love and gratitude to you.