I concluded my heart tests this morning at the hospital, I listened to Norah Jones with the imaging tech who was overseeing the giant machine that was photographing my heart. She was kind enough to put Jones on a speaker for me, yesterday it was Leonard Cohen.

Another IV, another injection, more photos, I think my cardiologist has enough data to examine my heart, and he loves data. My heart could be a feature-length film, if anyone wished to see it.

My two mornings in the hospital were peaceful, I appreciated the courtesy and sensitivity everyone showed. We had fun this morning when the tech came into the reception area and called out “John,” and four men stood up. Since the Byzantine privacy laws prohibited her from mentioning last names, it was a comic opera, the tried suffixes: “Senior, Senior,” or “Junior, Junior.”

I am so grateful no one I love has had to experience that here, perspective is healing and grounding.

I said the handsomest “John” should go first, but then none of us wanted to go at all. She finally came over to me and whispered my whole name in my ear, and it was nice that we laughed together at the absurdity of life and regulation.

I was permitted to sit in the cafe for an hour while I waited for the injections to stir up my heart for the imaging, and I was allowed a cup of decaf coffee and some oatmeal. It was a nice time, a peaceful hour. I do love solitude, and I do love quiet.

I sat in the reception area for my hour, called Maria, and then read my biography of Ulysses S. Grant. We are about to begin the battle of Vicksburg in the Civil War, and Grand has had a long struggle and come a long way.

Reading the book reminded me yet again that conflict and confrontation are part of the human experience, the old days are not necessarily better days, the idea of hardship and suffering is fungible, even eternal.

I was reading about the lives of the slaves, the slaughter of the soldiers, and the destruction of so many crops, homes, villlages and towns. My tech had to touch me on the arm to pull me out of my reverie.

I will meet with my cardiologist in a week or so, and Maria wants to go.There seems to be no rush.

I asked her not to come these past two days, what is most comforting to me is thinking of her in her studio, cranking out her beautiful stuff. It is not comforting for me to think of her sitting out in a waiting area for hours.

But she wants to come with me to talk to the cardiologist and good luck with that. He won’t say much. I’m not sure she needs to come for that either.

I have some bandages in my arms where needles went in, but I am otherwise unscathed. Nobody seems too alarmed by the test results to this point, if they found something awful, I’d be lying on a gurney in the Emergency Room right now. Done that, don’t need to do it again.

I remember the awful sensation of being wheeled around by kids in scrubs for days. I hated that more than anything.

If something is wrong, I believe they can and will fix it for me.  If nothing is wrong, that is also fine.

I felt very fortunate, lying in my back in that dark room, listening to the soothing tones of Norah Jones (my tech fell asleep for a bit, the music was so calming) and I was feeling especially fortunate. When I got up, she began to stutter, explained her stuttering to me, and said this was a hard day for her. I wanted to give her a hug, so I did.

And I shook Jim’s hand, he was so careful and gentle putting the IV’s in. He had a soft smile and a great sense of humor.

The young tech has a big heart. She enthusiastically pointed out that Jim was 20 years older than she was, and I was 20 years older than him. She got a big kick out of that. I said I was once on the other end of the line, too.

I think there are fewer things that are more gratifying than making a connection with another human, it is satisfying and enriching.

If I lived in many other countries of the world, I’d be dead by now, and if I lived in this one 30 years ago, I’d either be dead or sitting on the porch of a nursing home. Today, they do amazing things to the heart, they refurbished mine. Do I have a pre-owned heart, I wonder?

I had a wonderful person at home waiting to see me, and two dogs who greet me with the greatest excitement and enthusiasm. All kinds of love, he most healing thing there is.

I have a blog to update and a book to write, a farm to care for and woods to walk in, friends who care about me, and two donkeys, a pony, chickens and barn cats and sheep. I even have a granddaughter down there in the big city.

I am fortunate to be alive and healthy, and to have such a rich life. I feel safe and free in my life, and while I know many people do not feel that way, I am fortunate. I feel strong and healthy and good.  I am rich beyond measure. I have many blessings to count.