Lots of people feel they are being tested from time to time, me too, but today I am literally being tested.

I was walking up a hill in the woods recently and felt a tightening in my chest – some of you may recall I had open heart surgery two-and-a-half years ago. I feel good and strong and walk every morning, and often in the afternoon, but I am often told to call the doctor if I feel anything unusual, so I did.

This feeling is new, so it ought to be checked out. I’ve given up on self delusion.

The nurse on the phone wanted me to go to the emergency room, the doctor, who examined me a couple of months ago, said that wasn’t necessary, I have no other symptoms at all and feel great, but he did wish me to go and get tested. So I began the tests last week and am going to the hospital this morning for a nuclear scan, where they give me a stress test and pump things into my body via IV.

I’m going this morning and also tomorrow morning, I’ll be back at work at home before lunch. The idea of being tested is a great metaphor for me, in a way we are always being tested. I am understanding the work of being grounded, and I am working hard at it.

I am listening to my body, and my body is telling me I am feeling fine and doing well. We’ll see what the tests have to say, nobody is too frazzled about it, I’m not even supposed to talk to the doctor until late next week, and there is no more talk of emergency rooms.

There are lots of ways to look at tests. I don’t care to be hooked up to IV all morning, but I have learned that sometimes getting tested is a way to stay healthy. I’m bringing my Iphone and earphones, I hope they will let me listen to the new (and final) Leonard Cohen album while I’m on the treadmill.

I’m also bringing the new biography of Ulysses Grant. Always good to be reminded that things have often been worse, much worse.

He is never cheerful but always inspiring. See you soon.