For the past few days, I’ve been writing about the rapidly rising cost of veterinary care and its impact on people who love animals and also on animals who live, along with their people, below the poverty line. I’ve heard complaints about the pieces – some vets complaining that nobody understands how hard they work, how much debt they are in, and how expensive it is to run a practice (I have written each of those things, and more than once.)

Animals lovers also complain, lament really – that it costs a couple of hundred dollars to walk into a vet’s office and increasingly, people are re-considering whether to take a sick animal to the vet, whether they should go into debt to care for an animal, or whether we are simply spending too much money on pets that are becoming surrogate children and family members.

If you have pets or farm animals or livestock  and are not wealthy, you are most likely worried about this issue, and odds are you have not ever really discussed it with an animal health care provider, not until you or your animal are in distress, which is always a bad time to make good decisions.

Complicated stuff.

It is the American story really, the story of a polarized culture, both sides trapped in elaborate and expensive corporatized systems – think of health care – where the doctors who treat people and animals are increasingly helpless to practice medicine the way they would like to practice medicine. Both sides complaining and lamenting and in grievance, there is little real communication or understanding.

Sound familiar?

In America, we have lost the practice of talking to one another, rather we argue, complain and posture. People complain that it costs too much to go to a vet, the vets complain nobody understands their difficult lives, and in the end, it seems nobody is talking to one another, the very thing that would be most helpful.

As I ripen and grow older, I have learned some valuable things.

Anger accomplishes nothing, argument even less, whining and lament even less than the others. Spending money I don’t have is never a good idea, not even for animals I love.

And if we have a system where millions of people can’t afford veterinary care or have to go deeply into debt to get it, then something is wrong, something is out of balance, and vets – yes, they have very legitimate pressures and obligations and restraints –  know that as well as anyone else.

Too many animals are now getting no care at all because too many people can no longer afford it.

I believe we all need to acknowledge that this is a relatively new problem, I never used to have to call my accountant or take out a loan to take a sick dog in for treatment. And I love and trust my vets.

Short of a violent revolution, I don’t conceive of things changing much in the near future, and I can promise you the cost of veterinary health care is not about to go down anytime soon.

The very situation is fraught and manipulative: you have an animal you adore and wish to spend more time with, and there is a skilled professional telling you there are options and many cost more money than you have. Stress adds to grief. When we are afraid to take our animals to the vet because we can’t afford it, something is wrong, and I don’t blame the vets for it, they are part of a much larger pattern of corporate greed and disconnection.

So what can we do besides complaining on Facebook that is practical and helpful to us, our bank accounts, and the animals we love?

I think we can talk rather than complain or argue

My own thinking is this:

-We need a wiser understanding of animals. Most of us cannot afford to keep our dogs and cats alive by any means at all costs. I need to focus on my own value system, the well-being of my animals, my financial health and the other things that I can control, rather than the things I cannot control.

-Dogs and cats are not children, they are not people. They do not live as long as humans and if the costs of caring for them continue to skyrocket – up 47 per cent for dogs in the past decade, 83 per cent for cats – then many people will have to give up pets, give up on acquiring animals to live with, or deprive their animals of proper health care.

By definition, a life with dogs means a familiarity with loss and death. They just don’t live that long, they never have, and out of my respect for the natural world, I accept that. Many people I know cannot. There, the system breaks down, offering endless and expensive and often inappropriate levels of care to animals who cannot survive in a healthy and natural way. We all pay for that.

The animal rights movement has adopted the notion that animals do not belong with people – working with them, living with them, being entertained by them, being studied by them, being owned by them. They want all of the animals of the world to go live in the “wild,” even though it no longer exists..

Those of us who love animals would like to make it easier to be with them and live with them, not harder. The rising costs of animal care and the increasingly extreme and unknowing ideology of the animal rights movement – they actually believe it is cruel for working horses to work –  are making that so much more difficult.

-We can negotiate on behalf of our animals and bank accounts, on behalf of our lives. i don’t get all the shots or tests they tell me I need, I pick and choose the ones i think they need and that I can afford. If I can’t afford something, I say so, something very new to me. And it feels good.

My own prescription: I don’t whine, I don’t complain, I am learning how to talk about money and animals.

When a sheep takes ill, I don’t call the vet, I try penicillin and other over-the-counter treatments.

I understand that animal vets cannot accurately diagnose most sick animals and instead leave us with a basketful of syringes and medications – and bills.

Usually, the sheep die. Sometimes they live. We do not call the vet unless there is extreme suffering or prolonged illness. When they come, we talk about cost – how sure is the diagnosis, what is the likelihood of survival, how much will we have to pay?

Talk is also my most important recourse when dealing with small animal veterinarians.  I know they love animals, are in debt, overworked, under pressure. Still, that is not my problem any more than my financial problems are theirs. They are not going into debt for me, nor should they.

I have a good friend who retired early from veterinary work because he saw the pressure to make more money and charge more for sometimes dubious procedures was becoming intense, and he was losing  the freedom to make the best decisions for his clients and for the animals. The overhead was getting too high, the marketing impulse too strong, the bills too big. He quit.

Our best tool is conversation, not argument or whining or lament. It is essential for me to have a veterinarian I can talk to. It is essential I tell them of my own limits and beliefs. And that they respect my values and beliefs.  It is critical that I think through those beliefs and stand by them when it hits the fan. Sometimes I have to bring Maria or a friend to stiffen my spine. I need to pause and focus and understand just how much I can afford to spend.

For me, dogs are a pure joy and source of love and connection. They are not about debt and misery and obligation.

I have to be honest, I have found a vet I can talk to at the Cambridge Valley Veterinary Service, I can talk to her, and she listens to me. We talk about money all the time, I feel heard and respected. I still spend a lot of money, but it never feels out of control or exploitive to me, and that’s because we talk about it. Sometimes I agree with her recommendations, sometimes not. More and more, I am able to speak up and regain a sense of control.

When Izzy was diagnosed with cancer, I asked her to euthanize him as soon as possible. When she told me of the many other options available to me to treat Izzy – chemo, therapy – I said no, that wasn’t where we wished to go, and she said she understood. She could not have been more comforting or understanding.

I need to figure out my own value system, not the vet’s or my friends or people on Facebook –  mine. Do I believe it’s appropriate to spend thousands of dollars on pet care? If so, how many thousands of dollars? Am I willing to go into debt to prolong the life of my dog and cat, and is so, how much and for how long?

These solutions are the only ones I know of that make sense now. Talking is healing, it breeds honesty and understanding, it sets limits and builds boundaries. It helps me to stand in my truth. It’s my own prescription for dealing with the growing cost of veterinary care and the impact it has on the well-being of my animals.