It is a big deal for Maria (or me) to hit that “confirm” button and buy round trip tickets to Calcutta (Kolkata) India and back next February without speaking to a single human being.

I could see she was getting anxious about it – the trip still seems surreal, she doesn’t quite believe it some days – and so I offered to help and sat down at the computer and trawled through a bunch of airline sites and found what seemed a great fare.  She could do that as easily as I could, but sometimes we just need some support. And for her, spending that kind of money in that way was a bit frightening.

Maria came and sat down with me and we carefully went over the departure and arrival times, dates, and pricing. There is so much mythology and conspiracy about airline ticket pricing, but it is really pretty straightforward. Maria’s fare is about the same as one night at a modest Manhattan hotel and dinner.

Amazing.

We put in her credit card and held our breath, and waited for the e-mail confirmation and  itinerary. We both breathed a heavy sigh of relief. We went over it, all good.

When we were satisfied, I hit the “confirm and place order” button, and then Maria got a message from the person who runs the support program where she will be teaching the victims of sex trafficking how to make potholders and other fiber art.

She said it was wonderful that she was coming to teach,it would be so helpful to the women, and they were so grateful.

With this, Maria got a bit overwhelmed and took to the woods with the dogs. Sometimes I think she may leave me for a tree, she has been talking to them for years. How curious, I never worry about her dumping me for another man, but I can see her leaving me for the right tree.

So I offered to take her out to dinner at the Bog, a local tavern and one of our favorite places to go. Kelly Nolan was working, which made it even better. Maria had refused to go at first, she said I still had a cold and needed to rest, but I prevailed. My hacking is easing up.

We both needed a drink and I thought it was a big moment for her for us. When you have plane tickets, the trip becomes real. It was time to celebrate this big step. I had a glass of seltzer, she had wine. Now, she has a place to say, tickets, a passport will soon get the shots she needs, is gathering her fabrics and tools, and will apply for a visa.

Maria is preparing every day for this trip, collecting materials, thinking about what she will teach, wondering that this is really happening to her, reading up about India, celebrating the now global reach of her beloved potholders.

Maria is not an easy-going person, she worries about details and can hardly believe she is worth of this, that she is going to Kolkata to teach women how to make potholders. She still is amazed at the number of people who rushed to help her by sending her thousands of dollars so that she make the journey. We could never have raised that much money ourselves.

I am a scholar of time, I’ve lived long enough to understand a bit of it, and February will be here in a flash. I will be honest, I can’t really handle taking her to the airport and saying goodbye, it’s the one thing I just don’t think I can do emotionally, so I’m pushing for a friendly car service we know to take her back and forth, if she agrees to it. That may be a battle.

A friend asked me if I wouldn’t be “lost” without her here this coming winter, and I was startled by the question. I was alone for nearly six years at the first farm, and have, in fact, been alone for much of my life. And yes, I have often been lost. But I will not be lost, for sure, when Maria goes to India, I will be cheering for her every day, and I will get help if I need it. Whatever good happens to her happens to me as well, and vice versa.

That is the way we are with one another.

My big concern is to make sure the house is clean and neat when she returns – laundry done, dishes clean, food in the refrigerator, barns cleaned out, bills paid.

I don’t think there is anything on that list that I can’t do, and haven’t done. She is not exactly a model of domesticity.

The truth of it is that I am overjoyed beyond words that she is going on the life-changing passage to India. I imagine this will be the first of many trips for Maria to many places, she is getting the recognition she deserves, she has found her voice and strength, and one thing will lead to another. I’m betting she will go to Africa sometime as well to do the same thing.

We have  rarely been apart the last few years, and it is strange for us to do something so huge without the other, but I could not be happier.  Will I miss her?  Of course. That will be more than balanced by joy and pride. True love is selfless, if it is true.

But this is, in a way, what all of our blood and sweat and tears have been about, being fulfilled, using our creativity to do good, looking outward rather than inward, being fulfilled in every way.

She will come back to me, and I will be here waiting for her. It is still, in all ways, a love story.  I am too old and stubborn to get lost again.