My granddaughter greeted me with a warm smile texted to me this morning, her first that I’ve seen.I think she has a sense of humor, she will need one. She has a nice smile.

Maria and I are taking the train to New York City for the day to meet Robin, I’m bringing a sack of books and toys and a camera.

We had planned to spend some time at home with Robin and Emma and Jay, but it turns out Robin is going to the pediatrician in the afternoon for something routine. Emma asked if Maria and I would go with them on the subway to Manhattan, it will be Robin’s first time on a subway, their first time taking her out of Brooklyn.

We are catching an early train out of Albany, returning Thursday evening.

She is understandably concerned about navigating into Manhattan with a new baby, their car seat doesn’t seem to fit in cabs.

The trip will take most of the afternoon.

We plan to take her out for her first lunch as well, Robin’s first time in a restaurant.

I am great at fast and efficient diapering and pretty good at calming and distracting babies. I think Emma would use some help and I am happy to be helpful. So is Maria. Other relatives are arriving Friday and staying for a while, so a quick visit seems right for now.

I think parents are like fish, they smell bad quickly if they stay too long.

Emma is holding up well, but she definitely signaled that she could use some help tomorrow.

Traveling around New York City with a newborn for the first time is not a simple matter.

It is important to me to help and also to be needed, I know we will be useful tomorrow, hopefully I can take Robin out for a walk, draw that smile out of her, I do know how to be ridiculous for babies, and sometimes, for dogs.

I am excited to be making this trip, I understand this is a passage for me, and for Maria as well, a new and important chapter in my life. If Robin has a sense of humor, we are good. I think I see a pirate eye, but I might be projecting.

I realize that it has been awhile since I was needed as a father, and fathers like and need to be needed sometimes. Emma is am independent and self-reliant person, as I hoped she would be, and tried to rise her to be,  but I liked the feeling today that I could help and she was asking me to help.

Sometimes, it’s just good to have a parent around. I tried to be that kind of parent, sometimes succeeded, sometimes failed. I never once in my life asked my parents for help, and don’t recall every getting any help. I think that gets in the way of relationships sometimes.

I am phobic about asking for help, I never expected to get any. But many people have helped me in the past few years, and I have accepted their help. That has been healthy for me.

So the Grandfather Chronicles begin in earnest. I am going, I can help, it seems I am needed.  Sounds like a mantra. I’m not ready to be smitten, I am ready to be a part of this, and whatever happens, happens.

That is a good start. I am in total confusion over which lens to bring. Em and I are making plans for me to return shortly for some serious portrait taking. In a couple of months, things will be settled down. For now, some help matters.