Emma’s generation weaves technology into experience more seamlessly than I do, and technology is a seminal part of my creative life. Emma and Jay used a number of different tools to keep all of us  informed  about Robin’s birth- text messages, photos, and today, Facetime, Emma called me up this afternoon and I got to see Robin face-to-face and talk with her a bit.

I liked meeting Robin, it was Emma and Jay’s way, I think of signalling me that they want me to know her, to be involved in her life. I’m game, although also clear-headed.

They are already working at it, and so will I. We have obstacles to recognize and overcome.

I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that Emma, my daughter and only child, now has a child of her own. A seismic shift in the cosmos, I am still working it out. I haven’t absorbed it quite yet, I feel mostly confused.

New technology is cool, but still sometimes limited. I don’t feel as if I’ve meet Robin yet, not on the Iphone.

Mostly, she screamed or yawned at me. That is all you can ask of a newborn baby. Is she adorable? I don’t know, really.  She has not revealed herself to me yet, and why should she?

I enjoyed seeing her and I enjoyed seeing Emma looking tired but very healthy and happy. As a male, I can never know the wonder of childbirth, except from a distance, but it must be one of the most amazing experiences life can offer. I can only imagine.It is a humbling thing to think about.

Maria says it is time to get down there – she said she felt strongly about it – and that means it will happen, and I agreed. So we are both going to New York City on Thursday for a brief visit to say hello and welcome her.  Just a couple of hours, down and back on the same day.

Maybe try to take a portrait for Emma and Jay to have. Taking the first portrait, now that is a special thing for me to be doing. I am already mulling which lenses, how much light, etc.

We went to the Washington County Fair this afternoon and we met Ed and Carol Gulley there, their families are showing cows and have already won a couple of ribbons. Carol and I have a longstanding joke, she is always pulling out her cellphone and showing me numerous photos of her grandchildren, and I am always rolling my eyes and kidding her about it, I got to pull out my Iphone and show her Robin.

I’ve resolved not to do that as a general rule unless asked. Carol is innately loving.

I don’t assume everyone wants to see my grandchild, yet I am eager to see what happens with this relationship and write about it.  I learned a long time ago that I show my emotions in my writing, not so much in my life. This all feels like a triumph for me, a window, a door to walk through. I am keeping my expectations in check, my life is not going to be different but hopefully richer and deeper.

I understand the importance of love in my life, I lived without it for a long time.

Love is always good, it always feeds the soul and the heart. It is always a gift and a small miracle. I will open up to it.