My friend Scott Carrino called me this morning, I could tell he was upset. He had stumbled across a website called coldantlersham, he said.

It  was devoted to criticisms and personal attacks on a writer/neighbor named Jenna Woginrich who runs a farm nearby, and who has repeatedly asked her followers and readers for money and other support to sustain her farm.

Jenna is a gifted writer and passionate homesteader, people on the site have claimed she did not honor her commitments, but that is not my purpose for writing here.

Scott said he was scrolling down the posts on this site – most of them angry and anonymous – and came across a number of attacks on me (some on Maria) and was shocked and upset to see them. Scott does not understand people who attack people in this way, it is one of the many endearing things about him, why he is my closest friend.

Most people on this site were displeased that I had asked my blog readers to contribute $3,000 so I could buy a black and white monochrome camera to use in the photos I post to the blog. My blog readers supported my request, instantly and whole-heartedly (I didn’t need to go outside to a crowdsourcing site).

I think it is important that I share this site so that you – many of you have supported me and my work in many ways – can see the other side of things, the things some people say about me, and the new ways in which people in any kind of public life are questioned and challenged online.

You have the right to see this if you wish, and as you know, I don’t hide these things, they are part of my life.

Scott’s surprises weren’t yet over.

He was shocked again to scroll down farther and see that he was also being attacked – also anonymously – because he had launched a gofundme project seeking to raise money so that he could buy his Round House Cafe, which had been put up for sale by his landlord.Some of the attacks seemed to be coming from some local people in his town, even though the town has supported him enthusiastically.

I strongly supported this funding project in the name of community, as Scott’s cafe is a powerful source of community in our small town. As Wendell Berry has often written (me too) the economists and politicians have ravaged rural communities in the name of corporate profit and globalism.

In our town, much of our community is gone, many of our community institutions gone or outsourced. This is a common story in rural America, Scott and his fund-raising campaign have spoken to it directly.

People romanticize small town life sometimes – I am one of those people – but many of the messages on coldantlersham remind me that sometimes small people live in small towns, it is perhaps inevitable. Anonymous posts seem to make small people feel bigger.

Scott was hurt and puzzled that some of the people who come into his cafe to buy coffee or food would dump on him behind his back, but do not have the courage to speak to him face-to-face. This is strange to him, he is the most accessible and open of people. Sometimes I think he is too good for this world.

I tried to explain to  him that the Internet doesn’t always work in an honest and rational way, people owning their words. Small towns used to work that way, some still do. Anonymous websites work in the shadows, they draw people who hide in the dark and sometimes blacken their souls.

Jenna and me and Scott come from other places, and we all have different but strange ways and customs, and some people like change and some do not. I have supported some of Jenna’s crowdsourcing projects, criticized others. But it is not up to me to tell people who to give their money too.

I believe we are still a free people, even in the age of social media and writing in public often means standing down one mob or another, they roam freely on-line, and take many guises.

Scott is not experienced at this, he was upset at this posts. He is a good and gentle man. I have experienced this many times for many years, it is the toll we pay for speaking openly online.

Scott never speaks ill of anyone or would knowingly harm a spider, let alone a human being. He would never write anonymous posts trashing one anyone for any reason. If he is upset with me, he will call me up and tell me? Remember that?

Like me, he tends to put his name on his thoughts and ideas and stand by them, for better or worse.

I put my name on my words and ideas every day, and I am prouder of that than almost anything I can do.

People who wish to speak to me know where to find me, and people of character do. If I have a problem with something, I will tend to write about it and put my name on it. That makes me feel whole, writing in the dark would make me feel as if I were covered in slime. I have learned to stand in my truth. I went on this site, and answered some of the posts. I posted my e-mail – [email protected] – and said my wish for these people is that they stop writing stupid and dishonest things and if they had any questions for me, to speak to me directly.

I will  not get many replies, if any, people like that rarely come into the open.

Ownership of words is not the way of the Internet, where cowards lie in the shadows and hide beyond anonymity, even when they are raising good points for good reasons. Scott asked if he ought to respond to the posts, some of which were quite hurtful to him, and I advised him to wait.

If he was hurt or distressed, I said,  it was not a good time to reply, if at all.

Once he got organized and owned what he had done, I advised, he should do or say whatever he wishes. Very few people will ever see these posts or care, I said, but I understand they can still be hurtful.

Jenna and Scott and I are very different people, as is obvious to most people who read us or know us. We have all turned to crowdsourcing, the online rise of sites giving entrepreneurs, inventors, needy families, artists and worthy people in communities a new way to seek money and funding for a wide variety of projects. People make movies from crowdsourcing, raise money for inventions, for trips to Disney World for their kids, to buy homes ravaged by fire, start new businesses.

People on crowdsourcing sites generally do not ask why some dare to ask for money. They usually ask if it is a project they feel is worthy of support. If the answer is yes, they contribute, and the amounts are usually quite small. My camera was purchased mostly $5 and $10 contributions.  People thanked me for giving them the opportunity to help. It wasn’t easy for me to do, but it was, I feel, a good thing for me to do.

These peopole never had that opportunity before, and crowdsourcing has become the dominant method of fund-raising in America. It is revolutionary, and it is here to say.

All of the money goes to the recipient, not administrators and bureaucrats. Some people take it too far, it has helped many good people to do their work.

It is unfortunate that these posts about Jenna, Scott and me came from people who hide their identities, and spew so much venom, because they raise many legitimate and important questions about crowdsourcing, now the source of billions of dollars for people in need, from families with chronic illness to starving artists. Crowdsourcing is filling a gap left by dwindling government and other charitable resources.

This needs to be discussed.

Crowdsourcing is a powerful new way of helping other people and deserves and merits lots of discussion, although the comments on coldantlersham were frequently so inaccurate and sloppy – and often profane – that they hardly make any sense.  I could not count the falsehoods in just a few paragraphs. Anonymous warriors are not accountable for their words.

I am sorry to see Scott hurt in this way, I have to be honest and say I am used to this, I do not value the opinions of people who post in this way and hide behind their e-mail handles.

I am happy to reply to anyone who has an honest question to ask me about my decisions, I do it every day.  I don’t talk to people who live in the dark shadows and attack people who live in the light. I put my e-mail on everything I write and everyone knows where to find me who really wants to talk to me about my decisions. My e-mail is [email protected], and I have put it in every one of my books.

Jenna Woginrich is highly skilled at speaking for herself, she needs no defense from me,  and Scott has nothing whatsoever to apologize for. He is a bit more vulnerable perhaps, because he has not been a public figure for more than a few months. It is always an eye-opening experience, and sometimes transformative.

Scott has been quite honest about his campaign, he is devoted to preserving community in yet another small town ravaged by corporatism,  and people have donated more than $55,000 to  him from all over the country. As far as I am concerned, he is a holy man fighting to make the world a better place. I wonder what his critics have done for other people other than snipe and sneer.

Perhaps they could put their names on their posts and tell us.

If they don’t wish to contribute, all they have to do is shut up and get on with their lives and not contribute. If they wish to understand why he did it, they can stop hiding from behind their computers and go ask him. They raise perfectly legitimate questions.

My blog has raised more than $130,000 for people in need in the past year alone, from farmers being unjustly persecuted by animal rights activists to a farrier in need of new knees to helping Scott keep is cafe in our town. I have seen the good that the cafe does firsthand, how much it means to people, how hard Scott and his wife Lisa work.

I want to be open,  I have raised about $9,000 for myself and my camera equipment, in between I have shared about 50,000 photos, all given away for free. I believe their value is many times greater than $9,000 and I am forever grateful to be able to pursue my love of picture-taking and share it with the world. I see each photo as an angel sent out into the world.

As I mentioned above, my good readers responded to my request instantly, and I was able to stop my campaign – done only on my blog – in 48 hours. That is the only vote I need to take to feel comfortable about what I did.

I do not believe the people who contributed money to Scott are all careless or stupid, they are mostly people from small towns who are also fighting for community and the individual in the corporate age. Scott is a hero to me, I will fight for his campaign to be successful and support it in any way I can. People who disagree ought not to contribute, Scott would be the first person to tell them so.

I can hardly conceive of sniping at people while hiding behind fake names and pretending to be righteous. It is blessedly, not in my genes.

Crowdsourcing is an easy target for people to sneer at, it is always easy to jeer at someone for asking for money, or for too much money too often. Or at all.  Why should we buy him a camera, nobody gives me a thing, I work for my money. I think we all know this voice only too well, we first heard it in middle school and then again, sporadically, all of our lives. Jeering is free and easy, it is the currency on many websites.

(I should say that coldantlersham has raised a number of serious questions about some fund-raising efforts on-line, I am sorry they draw so many anonymous posters, yet it is an angry and disturbing site in many ways, it seems to depend on people who hide.)

(One of the shadows people posted that Maria – a fiber artist –  is now the ultimate bread-winner in the family, and I can’t earn any money. What an odd statement, we both would be so happy if it were true.  And we did get a laugh out of it. And how could anyone else know what we earn?) Anonymous posters are the medieval apostates and skeptics of our time, they live on the edge, in shadow and feast on the blood of the living, and of the people who put themselves out in the world under their own names.

Identity is so important to me, may I be struck down if I hide behind the name “anonymous.”

I am so happy to defy these people, every day and in every way. It gives meaning to my life. And to the idea of free and open speech.

The thing about crowdsourcing that I like very much is that is profoundly democratic. People can contribute or not, and they do, and I have never quite grasped the idea of attacking people for choosing to help other people. Some hate the idea that people are free to make up their own minds.

I have turned to crowdsourcing twice and have absolutely no regrets or apologies to make about it. When I was struggling financially, I needed help to keep my photography going – it is not only my art, but an essential element of my blog, now up to four million visits a year. Without help – we filed for bankruptcy last year, and have worked very hard to pay off nearly all of our debts and will do so completely in the next year or so.

All of my photographs are free, I do not watermark them or restrict their use in any way.

Many are used as screen savers, downloaded or printed. This makes me proud and happy, it is, I think their purpose.

I told Scott he needed to feel no shame or humiliation for being criticized. It is often valuable and worthwhile to have to answer questions about what we do. I said I do not ever respond directly to people who are too afraid to use their names when they lie about people or say hateful things about them. I did post on that site in defense of Scott.

I told Scott that when he launched a gofundme project to ask for money, he became a public person, he had come out into the world.

I told him that when I first asked for money for my camera, a man (his name was also Scott) told me he would prefer to give the money to a young girl with cancer than to me for my camera, although he enjoyed my photos, so he couldn’t help out. I thanked him very much, and completely understood his position. You need not to feel any pressure to give, I said.

I got another message from a young woman who underwent surgery for breast cancer, she put a photo of Simon, one of my donkeys, up on the wall in her hospital room. It was, she said, the last thing she wanted to see before she went to the operating room. Her surgery was successful, she sent me $50 hard-earned dollars to help me buy my black-and white camera. I have posted nearly 250 black and white photographs from that camera in the past few weeks, all of them available for use in any way people choose.

The anonymous posters did not seem to know that or think it worthy of mention.

I told Scott there was no point in speaking to angry and cowardly people who hide behind anonymous names, they are rarely interested either in truth or dialogue. How can one reason with frightened and angry people? I don’t care to spent much of my life doing that.

But that didn’t mean, I said, that they didn’t have legitimate questions or concerns. I am always happy to answer for what I do, especially to people who stand in their truth and own who they are. Cowards are generally the messangers of hatred and untruths, that is really the only good reason to hide. Why not use your own name if you are proud of your words.

But many good people have important questions to ask about where their money goes and what it is used for. I am always happy to answer them.

I told Scott I was proud and grateful that I asked for help to continue my photography and my writing, I am eternally appreciative that crowdsourcing made this possible. Without it, I am not sure I could have continued the work that many hundreds of thousands of people are kind enough to want to read and see every day.

Would the world be a better place without my photos? Not for me to say, it is up to my readers to decide for themselves. The same with the many people all over the country who have chosen to support Scott.

These people have helped me to survive as a writer in a challenging time for mid-list authors, and a difficult time for me. There is no shame for me to admit that.

I am now under contract again to a very good commercial publisher who seems to believe in me. I think I have gotten across that scary bridge, and I do not believe I could have done it alone.

That is really what matters to me, that and behind honest and standing behind my words.

I am very much at ease with who I am, and I urged Scott to be the same.