Cassandra, a vet tech at the Cambridge Valley Veterinary Service gave Red a medical massage this morning, part of the team effort to ease the pain in his legs and back with laser treatments, anti-inflammatory medication, advanced joint medication and massage. Yesterday we also saw a Vermont chiropractor who helped to adjust his back.

The massage was a beautiful thing to watch – it took over an hour, and Red relaxed visibly, minute by minute, Red fell almost into Cassandra’s arms as she massaged his muscles, relaxed him and helped make his movements more fluid.

I am no vet or doctor, but I could see how comfortable he was, and how skilled Cassandra was.

Red, like most dogs, can sense who knows what they are doing and who doesn’t. I had such a good feeling watching this. Cassandra has taken special training and is certified for veterinary massage, very different from the massages I have received by human practitioners. The care for Red has been intense and effective, especially over the short term.

Cassandra said she felt Red’s spine was easier, not as tight or swollen from the horse stomp he received.

There is no absolute cure for aging and arthritis or joint damage and we imagine that is what is occurring, but I will keep approaching it from different angles, within reason, which means an eye to the cost and to his own comfort. So far so good. He is doing  his outruns and working well with the sheep.

We are taking it slowly.

I very much want to continue the laser and massage treatments.

If there is a cloud to all of this, it is a feeling of sadness I am picking up from Red these days, something new but something I am feeling. I write about attachment theory, and I suppose I never really know if the sadness is a projection or something I am picking up. I have lost several wonderful dogs after years of good and hard work, and perhaps I am concerned about that.

I don’t believe in excessive mourning for my dogs, but I do feel their loss, there is so much joy in loving dogs, and there is always pain and loss. I don’t feel Red is preparing to leave, but I do feel he is telling me something that is sad. I really can’t explain it any better than that, it is just something I feel, not something I know.

Red and I are very close, he is almost always at my side, we are almost always together. I feel as if I am getting a message from him, an uncharacteristic melancholy that I have not felt from him before. Red is a spirit dog, and I believe spirit dogs have their own agenda.

Perhaps Red’s sadness was released by Cassandra’s massage, that happens to me sometimes. Perhaps we are just coming to terms with getting older, we are close enough to be reflecting one another’s journey, I think.

I decided today it isn’t a good time for me to get the lens I wanted, perhaps I was feeling a bit let down about that. I’m not conscious of that, but I believe in the subconscious.

Veterinary care, like human care, is expensive. And worth it.

I am taking good photos, have a new camera I love, that is enough for now.  I am happy in my life.

Maybe if I sell my next book. I submitted my proposal months ago, and although the publisher was supposed to respond to me after 30 days, they haven’t, of course. That is publishing today. It doesn’t reflect good news or bad news. No news is no news, but a part of my life, of course, is in limbo until I hear from them. My agent will start prodding them a bit.

Is that what I am feeling and projecting onto Red? We often do that to dogs. But I don’t think so. I know Red better than I know myself and there is a sadness in his eyes. It it discomfort? Sadness about not being able to work so hard. Red is an empath, he is as attuned to my moods as I am to his.

We will have to see if what I see in his eyes is really there, or just another fevered twist in my sometimes too active imagination. I was feeling a bit blue today. A lot of good and loving people are caring for Red, that feels good to me.