Several people messaged me today, two on Facebook, asking why I didn’t just give up and keep food off of the counter. Heh-heh. First off, they don’t know me. Maria knows me well enough to know I do not give up that easily, ever. Secondly, I wonder what they think I do for a living? If I don’t write about this, then what? You can’t make a living off of poems.

So tonight, a trap is set. We know that Fate has not snatched any food off of the counter while I am in the house since her first snatch of beef – I was napping. We know she has not approached any counter with a mousetrap on it.  She took beef, then some bread, and Monday, some crackers.

I need to change this habit. If a border collie does something once, it’s an experience. If it does something several times, it’s a habit and an obsession.

(To try and forestall the inevitable messages of alarm – some have arrived – this trap has a very tiny opening, good for a mouse head but not for a dog’s nose. If she goes get snapped, all the better. It won’t happen again.)

I am, as you might imagine, both determined and competitive. I also do know when to give up, that moment has not arrived. She is, after all, a dog. ( I wince even as I write that.) In my home, people set the rules, not dogs or cats. I have the right to put our 90 per cent lean, pasture-fed, organic Vermont cow meat out on the counter to marinate in sauce for awhile. The dog doesn’t get to dictate how I prepare dinner, not even this dog. I hope she does not get her hands on any power tools.

Yoiu can see the beef if set back on the counter, for insurance. The first time, it wasn’t. The  trap is set in front of it, if she nudges it, it will snap shut with a bang. I am in my office writing now, I can’t see the kitchen. I am banking on hearing something if she tries to move it She has locked onto the smell, as you can see.

When I put it out, she walked in brazenly, sniffed it, then pretended she wasn’t interested and left the room. I’m  not that dumb.

She will definitely sneak in there while I am working and check it out. Red is napping at my feet, it would never occur to him to steal food from a counter. We’ll see. I know most everyone is rooting for Fate, I accept that with grace.

The Joy Dog is sitting at the entrance to my study, she is pretending to rest, but watching the kitchen door. She is the devil.