A few days ago, Fate lifted some organic hamburger meat from the kitchen counter. I countered with a plan to surprise her in the act, and caught her zeroing in some haddock. I frightened her off and thought she had learned her lesson. Then, this morning, some bits of bread for the equines vanished from the counter while Maria went outside for a minute.

So I came up with another plan, and this time, Fate showed me her stuff, this is a dog to be reckoned with, I was reminded of the old farmer warning to never get an animal that is smarter than you are.

I went to level 3, I got out the mousetraps, a good way to frighten dogs away from the counter. If they touch the food, the trap snaps and scares them and they stay away from counters. These traps are good for mice, too small to catch a dog’s nose. Dogs do not like loud surprises. This has worked for many people.

I told Maria this was sure to work. She seemed doubtful. Maria would just as soon forget about these transgressions and just keep the food away from the counter.  She thinks Fate has earned her bounty. To me this is war, and I have to prevail.

So I spent a half hour or so setting these mousetraps, they are not easy to set, they kept snapping and jumping all over the place. Fate sat i the doorway of the kitchen watching my every move, like the Raptor she is. “See,” I said, thinking I was talking to an animal, “this will stop you from raiding the food on the counter. You’re about to be outsmarted.”

I finally got two traps set. I put pieces of turkey dog in each trap and some of the turkey dog behind it. It was close to the edge, it would be impossible for the sneaky dog to pass up. I set them both carefully, I was pleased with myself and confident.

I set the traps and went into my study to write, I wrote non-stop for three hours, listening carefully for the sound of the trap snapping. I heard nothing. From time to time, I got up, peered out the study door and saw Fate sitting in the same spot, dozing and sometimes watching the turkey dog.  Sometimes, she chewed on her bone. As the hours ticked by, I began to wonder.

Why wasn’t she going into the kitchen?  A few hours earlier, she had snatched bread off the counter. Surely, a turkey dog would be even more inviting. I wasn’t around. She couldn’t possibly have figured out what a mousetrap was, I told Maria, she was a dog.

The morning passed and I had to go out. Fate went into Maria’s studio, where she spends much of the day. I took the turkey dogs out of the trap and fed them to the chickens. I left one piece behind and pushed it to the rear of the counter, thinking I might try the traps again later. In the afternoon, we were back in the house, I noticed that the piece of turkey dog was gone.

Good Lord, I told Maria, she seems to know what the mousetrap is for. She wouldn’t set foot near the turkey dogs while they were in the trap. As soon as the mousetrap was gone, she snuck in and grabbed it. I can tell you that I do not believe it is remotely possible for a dog to understand the purpose of a mousetrap.

Yet somehow, she read perfectly what we were doing, and knew when it was okay to make a grab and when it wasn’t. She wouldn’t go near the food when we were in the kitchen, she wouldn’t go near it when it was in the mousetrap.

Both times, I was in the house. Yet when the trap wasn’t set, she went right in and did her thieving. Okay, I can’t account for this. Perhaps she used her vaunted instincts and senses. Perhaps she visualized what I was thinking. I am stumped. But only momentarily. She might be smart, but I am as willful.

Perhaps she is smarter than me. Fate 2, me 0. I am re-grouping, this is not done.