The hamburger wars got underway in earnest yesterday two days after Fate ate some uncooked organic beef off of the kitchen counter next to the stove (scene of the crime seen through the door). It was supposed to be dinner.

Many people laughed and said their dogs did it all the time, I have to say I was pissed and resolved that our dog Fate would not do it again. I am big on having a sense of humor, but strong on the idea of training, rather than accepting obnoxious behaviors. Eventually, I laughed about it, but not for awhile.

“Why not just put food in a microwave and hide it,” somebody suggested on Facebook. “Why not train the dog not to do it?,” I huffed back. I laugh at Fate all the time, she is the Joy Dog, but I don’t like the idea of giving up training to enable dogs to be poorly behaved.

This is problem with Fate.

Dog training is tricky enough, but especially difficult when the dog is smarter than you are, as might well be the case here. Fate has never taken food off of any counter (nor have any other of my dogs ever) and she knows she isn’t supposed to do it. She never goes near the counter when I am in the kitchen or nearby.

She got the hamburger meat when I was listening to music on my Ipad with earphones on, I didn’t hear a thing, and there wasn’t a trace of anything – the dish was in place, the Worcestershire sauce was still on the plate, Fate was dozing on her bed next to Maria in the living room.

My best analysis – I LOVE to analyze dog training behaviors, it is my hobby  – is that she was passing by, smelled the sauce (Maria and I have given both dogs leftover hamburger meat at times, we put it in their bowls, they are never fed anything out of their bowls) and  was just too sorely tempted. Still…So how to break the habit.

Yesterday I put the burger on the counter, put sauce on it to replicate the smell and then went into the bathroom, closed the door and sat on the rim of the bathtub. The toilet seat seemed undignified to me for reasons that are not clear. I read a novel on my Iphone for about five minutes and listened carefully. I heard Fate moving slowly-tiptoeing, really, which told me she was being sneaky. I crept up to the bathroom door and peeked through the crack I had left open, I saw her tail sticking out, telling me she was at the counter.

I had a throw chain with me, and burst out of the bathroom and saw she was standing at the counter, paws up near the plate, nose almost to the meat. “No,” I shouted, “get off!” and I threw the chain against the metal cabinet near her, startling her with the loud noise and my loud voice. She bolted out of the room and sat under the kitchen table. I pointed to the meat and  said “no” in a loud voice, I call it “doing the bear.”

My timing was lucky and perfect. It is imperative to correct a dog or reinforce a dog at the right moment, too soon or too late and you’re confusing them. I threw the chain just as she was reaching towards the food, and the way she took off told me she knew exactly what I was correcting. A dog this smart may well get that on the first try, a dog this willful may try it again.

I went back out to the living room, and Fate came over to the kitchen door and lay down, watching me. I sat out of her sight, but i could see her haunches and tail from my chair. I read for an hour and she never moved, even though the meat was right on the counter and she could see it. Every few minutes I praised her and reinforced her being still. She dozed, chewed on some rawhide, visited Maria, then me, and then went back to her spot.f

A strong round in the hamburger wars, I am not cocky, we have to try this a few more times before I declare victory. She is a very smart dog, and if it was just an impulsive grab, that will be that. If it’s something that recurs, we’ll graduate to mousetraps that snap.

I practiced visualizations also. They are simple, really, not that complicated. You focus and picture what it is you want, and the dog uses their senses – smell, sight – to read your emotions and intent and put an image of it together in their heads. I have used it many times (it is partially what my new book is about) and I did it yesterday also. We’ll see. What I wanted was to picture her staying away from the counter for the rest of her life.