My wife the pagan is very sensitive about Christmas, last year I almost got thrown out of the house for giving her an Iphone6 as a gift. She is re-working her ideas about Christmas and threatened me with extreme violence (I do not feel safe at home) if I give her expensive gifts for Christmas this year.

So I am not, not really. I already gave her the gifts – this was before Thanksgiving – so we could get all of that out of the. But then I saw this Unicorn Batik that the artist Carol Law Conklin made, she creates the most beautiful work inspired by farms, nature, horses and myths. This is what Maria is all about, that and horses too,  I had to get it for her:

I knew Maria would love it, but I also knew she’d kill me. It is worth every penny, but it is also an original and beautiful work, so not cheap. In this house, we know what it takes to make good art.  So I began my secret negotiations with Carol. Money is tight this Christmas, and Carol agreed to barter with me a bit. Some cash, some books, some help building up her blog.

I arranged to meet Carol at Gardenworks today and told Maria I was out doing chores. She got suspicious, and she said she knew I wasn’t in town because she could hear the engine running as if I was on a highway. I pretended we got cut off on the cell phone and hung up. Carol met me at Gardenworks, she was picking up some of her Batiks and she brought me the Unicorn work, which was even more beautiful than I remembered. It was all wrapped up in red paper, and she told me Maria admired it when Carol first starting working on it.

Red, as always, accompanied me.

Carol is a great dog lover, she and Red it off. Red and I did many readings at Gardenworks, which is right down the hill from the old Bedlam Farm. it was strange to be back there, but nice. Carol is a former dairy farmer, she is a great friend, her work has appeared at our Open Houses and sold out two different times. I was lucky to get this, fortunately it was still available. You can see her work here.

Maria was having lunch with the Good Witches at the Round House, so I took the Batik out of the red paper and put in her her Studio.I laid it out next to the iron.  I’m heading back into town for a massage, so I won’t be here when she sees it – she just got back and is out riding Chloe. I’ll be gone when the explosion occurs and she’ll have calmed down by the time I get back. She is Sicilian, after all, she has a good healthy temper. A Sicilian Pagan. Lord.

I imagine she’ll love it, and I did, after all, keep my word. No more presents on Christmas Day. It’s okay to put this up because she’ll head for the Studio as soon as she’s done with her pony.  By the time I get home, she’ll be immersed in her new quilt. When she first came home, I messed up and showed her a photo I took at Gardenworks, I mumbled something about bringing Carol some books. Truthfully, we can hide nothing from each other, all we can do is stall.  I think she bought it, though. It is not always easy being married to a pagan, or to a woman who does not believe she should ever be given gifts.

But it is always good.