Well, I came home from town and I saw the Unicorn Batik from Carol Law Conklin hanging over the fireplace, a position of honor in our farmhouse (although I was slightly bent out of shape when Maria said it was the best thing that has ever hung there,  my photographs hung there. Still…)  and I knew I was not in trouble.

Maria loved it, and appreciated it.

I got a glower and a brief lecture on not spending a lot of money on her – I know this by heart, and I do hear it – but I explained this was something that just called out to belong to her – it was about myth, nature, animals, mysticism, and of course, paganism.  The piece touched me deeply. Thank God I don’t have a lot of money, I would fill up this farmhouse. I imagined Maria would put in the studio, but she said it belonged where we both could see it all the time.

I don’t know how she figured out how to hang it, but she did.

I explained my newfound skill at bartering, Carol and I worked out a good deal, for both of us, I hope. I am learning to barter and liking it, I expect my grandmother passed this gene along to me, although I never had to use it before. She terrorized local merchants when she gave them the evil eye over their prices, I saw grown men tremble and fold. The butcher, she told me, was a thief, she never accepted his price for anything. When she stared at him, I thought he would faint.

Maria does not ever buy anything for herself, so I explained I have to buy her gifts once in awhile, but rarely and inexpensively, I assured her.

Carol Law Conklin didn’t require any persuasion, she is a brilliant artist, a fellow farm and animal lover. She was fun to barter with, and it turned out well for everyone. So I am not in trouble, Maria loves this work, it will uplift and inspire her many times over. Good art does that. I guess this is a Christmas symbol for us, we are trying to work out our Christmas, and I am getting there, understanding the real meaning of it and loving the real meaning of it.

I told Maria this was a Solstice gift as well as a Christmas gift, but she is already back in her studio whipping her up her own beautiful magic. Life is good. Love is nice. Thinking about Christmas was a good thing for me, it is helping me to love it again. I’m afraid sometimes that I live too much in my own head. I can’t really feel my way through things, I have to think my way through them.