Lots of dogs eat things we don’t like, but Fate, like other high-instinct border collies has taken this to a whole new level. She is as much a wild animal as she is a dog, as much a fox or wolf as a pet. She can smell a dead thing a mile away, and there are few dead things, not matter  how rotten or foul that she does not want to eat. I’ve had Labs who do this, of course, but I have never had a four-legged vampire like Fate. She is a zombie, I often tell her, she feasts off the flesh of dead things.

The man or woman who has a border collie like this – they are not all like this – will soon understand the meaning of patience and love in a new and different way. Fate has a mind of her own and the instincts to follow it.

Something happened in the deep woods overnight, I’m not sure what it was, I am no Natty Bumppo the Deerslayer. Maybe a deer was shot by a hunter and bled to death, or was cut open for meat out in the forest. Maybe coyotes killed some rabbits or turkeys and spread their bloody meat. Maybe a fox got  chipmunk or two. There were dead animal parts everywhere.

The second we got into the deep woods, Fate’s nose was up and she was darting here and there. The dog trainer knows that it is pointless to shout at a dog like this, you can only try over time to teach alternative behaviors and hope your rewards for coming are as good as the rewards of the forest. Or put them on a leash, if you brought a leash. I didn’t.

Fate could live in the wild, for sure. She will eat feces, dead worm-infested things, parts of animals that smell so bad even I can detect them.  She eats chicken droppings like popcorn, and every now and then, there is donkey and pony manure

Sometimes she vomits them up later, she is wormed regularly and monitored closely. No, you may not cuddle with me, I say later, or lick my face. You are a ghoul.

It is not really healthy for her to eat dead things, some dead meat can be poisonous and I find it disturbing, not to mention revolting. But if you want a dog like this, you need to accept a dog like this, at least to some degree. And I love having Fate, she spreads joy all over the place. Mostly. If I see it in time, I can usually back her off by yelling “leave it,” or sometimes throw a stick or rock in her direction to startle her and make her look at me. Then she will obey me. Sometimes.

If she gets to a dead thing before I see it, and starts chowing down, it is too late, I can bellow and shout and give commands all I want, I am just talking to myself. If I am not close, I can just shut up. This afternoon, I saw her dart into the woods and there was a part of a dead animal hanging off a bush. Even for Fate, this was disgusting. Fate zeroes in like a laser on a target and she is very long when she stretches out. It looked great to her, whatever it was.  I couldn’t stop her, so I took a photo and then strategically placed myself back on the path she had started out on.

She fell into my trap, dragged the bones and skin, still raw and bloody and started backing out of the brush. When she got to the open, she turned and there I was, towering over her. “Drop it!,” I said, waving my arms like the Batman. She gave me a defiant look and considered bolting, but for once, I had outsmarted her. She had nowhere to go. “DROP IT NOW!,” I thundered, “OR I WILL STOMP YOU INTO THE GROUND AND SELL THE SHEEP!” It was a long command, and it was loud. The positive reinforcement people are probably reaching for their Xanax. Once in the live of every dog like this, I know I have to do the “The Bear” make so much loud noise they hesitate to blow me off. I’ve done this once or twice with every dog I’ve ever had, and I’ve ever had to do it again.

I’ve done it many times with Fate, and she pays little or not attention.  Dogs are humbling, if you are paying attention.

But it worked this time. Fate is no dope, she calculated the odds and dropped the awful thing and I kicked it back into the woods and ordered her forward. She gave me a resentful look but went on ahead, pouting a bit. She started to go back once or twice, but I was on it, I kept her moving.

It was a rare victory for me in in the raging war between Fate and me over the eating of dead things. I imagine it was the threat to sell the sheep.