l love the way the  old and abandoned Tree House in the deep woods appears suddenly, around a corner, a gateway and a sentinel, I love the way it reflects itself on the pond, a place of meditation and spirituality.

I think Maria and I are coming to terms with Christmas, beginning to like and appreciate it’s simpler messages of peace and love and connection. It depends on the stories we hear. A daughter told us her plans for her last Christmas with her mother, who is near death. They both are eager to celebrate this time together, a loving and willing farewell.

Those are the stories that make me like Christmas, the messages of love and connection. The understanding of the true message of Jesus Christ, his belief in mercy and acceptance, his love of the poor. Many people hear that message and practice it on Christmas, and if I sort through the hype and hoopla and fancy dinners and lavish pressure for gifts, the spirit of Christmas lives and emerges.

We have a friend who has been driven nearly mad running through her long Christmas lists, buying gift certificates, rushing from store to store, preparing a massive dinner for countless relatives. She has been shopping for July, she wants to please everyone. No one but us seems to see that she dreads these holiday dinners, she worries about every part. She is exhausted and stressed and soon, will be broke, perhaps the very opposite understanding of what Christmas means.

Maria and I are liking our plans to have a Christmas without pressure, without family, without piles of gifts or big dinners or the jacked-up expectations of a holiday that will disappoint most of us. We want to be where we are known for who we are, not for  who others insist that we be.

The Feast Of Failure, Graham Greene called Christmas. Almost no one can live up to it.

The simpler our Christmas gets, the more we like it, are open to it. We see how many people love and practice Christmas, how much it means to them.

The smaller and more honest our Christmas gets, the more it soothes and uplifts. The smaller the Christmas, the bigger.  It will not be a  holiday of obligation, of sucking it up for family, of rushing around to malls, or frantically browsing online, of submerging ourselves into the needs of others. I think there is no discount for love and connection.

I don’t mean this in a religious sense, but I am conscious of the preaching of Jesus, who said faith is about what we give up, not what we acquire, of what we let go of, not what we don’t. Christmas is looking better all the time.