Maria did something at the Creativity Conference Friday that she doesn’t like to do – teach her art. She did a workshop on “Free Motion Sewing,” it was well attended – the audience gathered eagerly and raptly around her –  and she did it well, everybody watched closely and had questions.

But the truth is, Maria doesn’t like teaching  – I do – and I think I might have pushed her into it. I thought she would love it. She didn’t. It made her uncomfortable. We are always learning about one another.

I had encouraged her to try it – she balked – because she is nice and encouraging, and a good listener,  qualities that seem to me to make a good teacher. She was always reluctant. I thought it would be good for her, which in retrospect, seems a bit patronizing.

Maria really didn’t like teaching her class,  she doesn’t even remember much about it. Some people – me – love getting up in front of a crowd of people and talking. Some people do not.

Odd that I was surprised, I think I know Maria well.  And she sure didn’t show any signs of unease. She talked easily and well about her art and the “free motion” sewing she does, but I could see afterwards that it was hard for her to do. It just makes  her nervous talking to a group of people, she associates teaching with giving orders, something she had experienced too much of in her own life.

I love teaching, and I think it’s one of those things that I will do but she will rarely do. A boundary, perhaps.

“It’s your thing, really,” she said, “not my thing.” I think when you hear that said, you have to accept it, and I do. Maria does many wonderful things, and she will figure out on her own what she likes to do and doesn’t. She doesn’t need pushing from me.

Maria doesn’t ever like telling other people what they should do, not in any form. So another lesson for me in the perpetual struggle to let people be themselves, and not make assumptions about them. Not everyone likes to do everything.