I met a couple recently – they had read several of my books – and they were eager to meet me, talk to me, show me photos of their dog, a mixed breed who had mauled two other small dogs and killed one, and who so terrified their parents and in-laws that he had to be kept locked up in the basement whenever they came to visit, or when visitors came to their home.

So far, the dog had only growled at their two children, he had not harmed one. They loved this dog, they beamed at the mention of him or his name.  I  realized after a few minutes that they were proud of having this dog,  he had been abused, they said,  and they had saved him from certain death. No one else, they said with great pride, wanted him or could handle him.

I  realized  – I have heard this story many times before – that they were seeking my approval and admiration and did not notice or care that they weren’t receiving either from me.

I believe strongly that we make our own choices, and we are responsible for them. They are as wise as I am. I do not have magical answers for anyone else, we each have to make our own way, I do not tell other people what to do. People should get whatever dog they wish, hopefully in a careful and thoughtful way.

Today, I saw Fate and Red both bring great joy and love to three children. I will always remember how many people came to see Simon, to love and touch him.  He gave back every good thing he was given. Today, I saw the smile on Maria’s face when she jumped up on Chloe and rode her bareback around the pasture. She trusts this pony, the pony trusts her. Love passes between them, the pony makes Maria strong and proud every day.  And I saw how delighted she was when she threw a frisbee for Fate. Or how much the donkeys love and heed her, how these animals nourish her and bring her love every day.

I am touched beyond words when people with dementia, people dying in  hospice, brain-damaged and traumatized veterans from our wars grab Red, hold him, pull his ears, drop to the floor to hug and in return, receive patience and love from him. Love, love, love, that is the point for me.

I remember Lenore keeping love alive for me, sitting in the pasture with Simon rubbing balm on his swollen gums and in his infected eyes, how many people have come to the farm and seen these animals and been loved by them. I remember a dozen school-children swarming all over her, her tail never stopped wagging. Fate is a dog like that, she is full of love.

When I began my life with animals,  and decided to study them and write about them, I remember reading about the Peaceable Kingdom, and reading the books of James Herriott, the great English veterinarian and animal writer. I had this philosophy – still have it – that if animals get what they need – food, good shelter, attention, proper health care – they will trust people and love them and bring them joy. They will be good to one another.

I have only had one animal in my life with animals who hurt people – that was Orson, the border collie who bit three people, including a child severely, and who I euthanized. I did not, I decided, ever want to be responsible for any animal of mine ever causing pain and bloodshed again. Many people have called me a murderer for killing Orson, it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life, it was my coming of age as a responsible human being.

I could never again say I didn’t know it could happen, I knew there were many steps I could take to make it very unlikely to ever happen. And I took them. I knew Frieda would make it to the other side because she had never, for all of her troubles, harmed a human being. She would not have stayed on our farm if she had.

On our farm, the animals do not fight with one another. They take their turn, are easy with strangers, are almost always easy with one another. They are not animal saints, they are animals who live in harmony with us, with each other. A Peaceable Kingdom. They take turns, they wait their turn, they do not fight over  food or water or attention. They know they will get what they need.

I chose my animals carefully, so does Maria. If I got a shelter dog or rescue, I made sure they were thoroughly temperament tested, with children, food, even loud noises. I always want to know as much about the dogs I bring into my life as it is possible to know. I want to know the same things people say they want to know about their food – where did they come from,  how were they  treated?  I train them lovingly and well, feed them only their food, socialize them with every kind of person, exercise them and give them important work to do, even if it is no more than loving people. Maria visits every animal every day, sometimes with food, sometimes with brushes or combs, sometimes with nothing but love.

We make sure they are comfortable, and get them treatment the minute they are not.

For me, animals are all about love. About my learning how to love well, about my receiving the bountiful love from them that animals have always offered people, for all human history. They have always been inseparable from us, we have a struggle on our hands to keep them with us in the world now.

I see this harmony in my dogs and donkeys, I see it in the big working horses who need people so badly, I see it in our pony, our puppy, our imperious barn cats. I am very proud to have two barn cats that any child can approach or pick up in safety, or at least in as much safety as animals can offer.

I know that many people – their numbers are growing – have a different view of animals in their lives and in the world, a different idea of what it means to be moral.

I know that dog bites are epidemic in America now, they are increasing by nearly 50 per cent  a year, many of them on helpless and unsuspecting children. I asked the couple who told me about their dog how they would feel if their dog bit one of their children or someone elses. Well, they said, children have to learn how to behave around dogs if they wish to not be bitten. It is not the dogs fault.

I was interested in learning in my writing about the carriage horses in New York that the mayor was eager to ban horses, who have never killed a human being or harmed a child, but not dogs, who have killed a number of children and maimed many.  In 2012, the New York City Department of Health reported that more than 7,000 bites were reported by doctors in the five boroughs of New York City, as mandated by law. (Many are believed to go unreported.) The upper extremities, lower extremities, and face were predominantly affected. The peak incidence occurred during the summer months and in children ages 7 to 9 years old.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC), tentative dog bite figures for New York City in 2012 were 7,432, more than half involving children. The American Pediatric Association reports dog attacks on children to be both epidemic and exceptionally traumatic,  since they often occur around the face, eyes and neck. Dog bites on children, says the CDC, are increasing throughout the country at a rate of 47 per cent a year and in nearly half of those cases, require reconstructive facial surgery. That is just New York City.

If a carriage horse shows up lame to work, it is front page news for days and the lead story on TV. If a child’s face has to be put back together after a savage dog bite, it is not news at all.  Nobody has or ever will suggest banning dangerous dogs. That is our new moral compass when it comes to animals. And it isn’t the dog’s fault, of course, dogs do not make moral decisions, they are not good or evil. We are.

You and I both know the young couple so proud of their dog will one day add to those numbers, perhaps even with the faces of their own children. I wonder if they will blame the children for that. I suspect they will.

We each have to make our own way in the world. We are each responsible for what we say and do, from choosing a dog to posting cruel messages online.  I am proud of some things in my life, not proud of others. I am  proud of the fact that I will never knowingly keep an animal that might harm a child, or add to those awful statistics. I am proud of the fact that every animal on this farm – every donkey, pony, dog or barn cat – is, to the very best of my knowledge, a loving  and grounded creature, safe around human beings and children.

I know that any animal can harm a human being in the right circumstance, we can never know for sure what they might or might not do, they are not like us, they are alien creatures.  I never take it for granted. But I work hard to lower the odds, hurting people is not what animals are about for me.

A moral man or woman will, in my own mind, make it a goal to promote the love of animals and the love of people. This, to me, is part of the covenant between humanity and the animal world. This is where the contemporary animal rights movement has lost it’s way.

When I think of my life with animals, i think about the love I have felt for them – they did, in fact, teach me how to love and helped me to understand and find the real thing. And I think about the love they have shown me through my ups and downs, travails and joy, happiness and fear and loneliness.

When I look back on my life and it’s ups and downs, there has always been a dog nearby, a dog standing with me, loving me,  helping to ground me, to feel save and to understand what love can mean to a human being. I celebrate that ethos, that is what animals are about for me,  for us.