Horse people are much like dog people, they all have stories to tell and fixed ideas about their animals. We have a pony now, her name is Chloe. Maria loves her, and Chloe seems to love Maria back, but ponies are not dogs, and sometimes Chloe drives Maria crazy.

Sometimes Chloe feels like riding or being brushed, sometimes not. When she sees Maria, she whinnies and comes running, she loves Maria to groom her in the morning, she is happy to be a leaning place, these two are connected in ways that I think Maria cannot yet really see.

Horses are different from dogs, they raise a number of different issues in people, especially women,  I think. I hope to write more about this in the coming months as Maria figures out this complex and sometimes frustrating relationship. Chloe is intensely aware of Maria. Maria is learning not to take her individuality personally.

She is learning what all good trainers learn, the way to get a better animal is to be a better human. Ponies cannot be trained like dogs, they are not as rational or predictable. Every pony person has been thrown, defied, ignored, challenged. Well trained dogs reach the point where they generally obey you. Well trained ponies sometimes obey you. One day Maria and Chloe will go riding around the pasture, the next Chloe just doesn’t want to go, walking backwards, going in circles, refusing to move.

At first, this was deeply troubling to Maria. She blamed herself. What is wrong with me? The pony was tapping into deep and old issues of fear and self-esteem. Maria came to see what I have come to see training dogs. You have to be the leader, you have to set the tone, you have to be in charge, and really mean it, and you have to really mean it in a positive way.

Maria was so frustrated that she went and bought a crop, she meant to give Chloe some direction when she wouldn’t move forward. But she has never used it. Now, when Chloe gets obstinate, Maria just has her go in a circle, and Chloe seems to think she has gotten her way, and goes where she is supposed to go.

A breakthrough idea. There is always a way for the human to get what he or she wants, if they are creative and committed. We are, after all, smarter than they are. I’m not sure about Fate.  My hat is off to Maria, she is strong and smart and determined, and I have been fascinated to watch these two strong and loving women come to terms with one another.

For sure, it is a love affair, Maria thinks nothing of leaning on her pony to rest, Chloe thinks nothing of letting her.