Last summer, I realized I knew some wonderful old men, and I recalled that I have always wanted to be part of a men’s group so I formed the Fabulous Old Men’s Club. The criteria for joining were simple.  You have to be fabulous and somewhat old. I knew three men who fit the bill: Scott Carrino, my closest friend and the co-owner of Pompanuck Farm and The Round House Cafe; Paul Moshimer, the co-director of Blue Star Equiculture; and Doug Anderson, a celebrated and loving poet, teacher and photographer,  a loner and fierce individualist and lover of carriage horses. Oh, and me and Red.

I could not recall ever knowing a better group of men, thoughtful, sensitive and caring people. Being an idiosyncratic loner, I knew it would be a while before we could get Doug Anderson up to a meeting. But Paul came to visit me and we went to Scott’s sugar house one cold night, sat drinking hot toddies (whiskey and maple syrup) and talked until pretty late into the night.  It was a fabulous scene of alchemy and connection, boiling vats, hissing fires, excellent conversation and good whiskey. Scott and Paul loved each other and we were all excited and filled with plans to meet regularly.

That was not to be. Nearly three weeks ago, Paul died, he took his own life. I did not expect the FOMC to meet again.

Saturday night, Doug and I talked on the phone, I knew he was saddened and bewildered by Paul’s suicide, the two were very close friends. I suggested that he come up to the farm for a change of scenery and to clear his head, and he did come, and it has been a pleasure to spend time with him, we share a great deal with one another, and the conversation is honest and easy. I loved having him here, I will miss him.

We decided to go see Scott and give rebirth to the idea of the Fabulous Old Men’s Club, not only to honor Paul but to keep the dream of a bunch of good men caring enough about one another to meet regularly. A gift to all of us. It was a sweet meeting, Scott gave Doug a tour of his farm and we sat down next to the fish pond where Scott comes every evening to feed his beloved goldfish. He really does love them.

Doug is a celebrated poet and photographer, his latest book, Horse Medicine, was inspired in part by his love of Blue Star Equiculture, and the people and animals there. He is a very important figure there. Like me, he always has a camera strapped to his shoulder, he is sharing  his life all of the time.

We talked a bit about Paul, but then went on to life, the things we cared about,  family, carriage horses and dogs, work and creativity. The young club has already seen a bit of life, we are joined in part by sadness and loss, but mostly by the passages of life, which we think about, talk and share.

I am grateful that the Fabulous Old Men’s Club lives after all, it must be an idea that wants to live, after all.