Maria had her first ride with Chloe today, at the farm of Ken Eli-Anita Norman. Maria looked at ease and at home, and Chloe is a biddable and well-trained pony, a Haflinger-Welsh cross. Eli is a wonderful teacher, patient, clear and encouraging. Maria seemed right at home with her.  And she looked like she had been riding horses every day for years. She can write about the experience herself on her blog,  it was wonderful for me to watch and see.

I decided that Maria is a human pony, she and Chloe are just alike. When I asked Maria to describe Chloe, she said she was independent, feisty, fond of attention sometimes, and sweet. Wow, I said, just like you. You are a human pony. Somehow, the horses are making her strong, opening up her art.

Red came along, and sat quietly in the middle of things, quite a wonderful dog. He really can go anywhere. At one point, Chloe trotted by just a few inches from him. He didn’t blink. The pony is a big deal to Maria, and to us. More lesson and grooming and stuff in the coming weeks.  I have little desire to ride a horse, maybe just once for the experience. I am liking Chloe a lot, she knows what she is doing, and she and Maria are the perfect match.

I am once again non-plussed over this issue of unwanted advice, sometimes it is funny, sometimes annoying. The messages typically plead with me “please, please, make Maria wear a helmet.” I am really surprised by these frantic messages.

First off, Maria is not a child and I am not her mother. She makes her own decisions about her safety, I do not make them for her. Why was the message coming to me at all? It is not my horse, and I am not riding it. It seemed sexist on several levels, especially coming from women. Perhaps they have different kinds of marriages.

Secondly, what makes people feel the need to tell me (us) such absurdly obvious things. (Like I don’t know that there are rescue dogs in shelters.) Maria has used a helmet every time she has ever gotten a horse, and Chloe is not the first one. Do people think we don’t know about safety and helmets  up here in the country?

And finally, the messages all begin with this: “I know you hate to get unwanted advice, but…” Fascinating, if you can see it that way. Here’s an idea for the people sending me these patronizing messages, a new approach to consider, even on social media: If you know I don’t want or need unwanted advice, there is a new, perhaps radical,  approach: don’t send me any.

For me, standing on the sidelines or sitting for awhile with my friend Ken Norman, I saw that this is a big deal for Maria, for Chloe, for the farm. The horses have entered our lives in different but important ways. They have changed my thinking in a number of ways, the carriage horses in New York are sending powerful messages to me and to the world.

I agree with Chief Avrol Looking Horse. We are at a crossroads. We will either learn to live together in harmony or continue to destroy our world. The Native-Americans believe the horses are calling to us to understand our responsibilities to them and to the earth. This is what I feel.

And Maria and her horse, just another manifestation of it. I am excited Chloe is coming to the farm. I feel very connected to her already, even from afar.