I’ve learned – and written – that having a good and open relationship with a vet is perhaps the most important thing I can do when an animal of mine gets sick. It is money in the bank, the foundation for perspective, compassion and resolution.  Dr. Suzanne Fariello had “the talk” this morning, about her diagnosis, my wishes, Lenore’s best interests, all of the options. It makes all the difference to me when it comes to evaluating our options and making decisions. We talk about everything – love, money, medicine, prospects.

Lenore is in very extreme pain, there is an issue in her neck, either a severe disc dislocation or, possible, a tumor causing the debilitating pain in her neck and shoulder and down through her legs. Watching the level of pain in the past few days has been perhaps the most difficult thing I have encountered in my life with animals, and much worse, I am sure, for her.

Dr. Fariello and I have a good and open relationship, we can talk honestly. She went over the X-rays, medical notes and examined Lenore carefully. She is concerned about her. So am I, I tend to have my emotional upheavals early, and then get on with what I have to do. As many of you know, I have strong and clear feelings about how much animals ought to be subjected to for the benefit of human beings. Dr. Fariello knows this as well, she is always honest but does not push me farther than I want to go. Maria and I are in complete agreement about this, although we often approach it in different ways.

There are a number of things to try, and we are trying all of them, if they do not work in the next couple of days, we will have some further discussions about the options – they range from seeing specialists, considering neck surgery, or euthanasia. We are not there yet, Lenore is now medicated and sedated and, for the first time in days, resting more comfortably. The best outcome would be for these medications to work over the next 48 hours.  We are aware of all of our options, she is in good hands, and so are we.

I have to consider whether Florida is an option for me right now, it isn’t if Lenore is in crisis. That’s a decision for another day. Maria and I have talked, about our feelings, our fears, our money, and most of all, about what we wish for Lenore. I believe so strongly that these issues must be talked out in advance – the families, the vet – it is the only way I know to keep our love for sick animals in perspective. That is important for me, the dog comes first, not me and what would make me feel better.

I am cautiously optimistic. There is a very good chance these medications will work to reduce Lenore’s distress. If it is really a tumor, that is another matter. The first goal is to reduce her pain, keeping suffering animals alive for people is one of the worst forms of abuse to me – everyone has to make their own choices, that is always mine, she won’t suffer one day because we do not want to lose her.

But we’ll know soon enough. We’ve all said everything we need to say to one another, we are prepared for whatever happens, and I am fervently hoping this remarkably sweet and loving creatures lives in less pain today.