This evening, a note of accomplishment and affirmation to wrap up a roller-coaster weekend. Life happens, to us it seems to happen often and with relish. The weekend began with Simon’s death and ended with our finishing what seemed to me to be a Herculean effort to scrap off the living room wallpaper, which had been up there for a very long time, spackle and patch the old wall, and then apply two coats of the orange/yellow paint.

Maria did a simply incredible job of organizing this, cleaning up, scampering up and down ladders, patching and sanding, and painting. She is a remarkably accomplished human being, she does so many things remarkably well, she really has no idea of her own strength and power.

I did a lot of spraying and scraping, but I will be honest, I just can’t do as much as she can, and not nearly as well. She is a dervish when she locks onto something. My mind will not focus on one thing for too long, nor will my body permit too much bending or reaching up and stretching. It is hard for me to admit that, but authenticity is not cheap or easy.

Maria restored houses with her ex-husband in her former marriage, and she is very good at restoration, but does not really love doing it. Our dining room was the dingiest room in the house, the wallpaper was faded and covered with dust and soot, it was a gloomy space. It is no longer gloomy, it is bright and cheerful and from now one, we will eat our meals there instead of in the living room.

All of the rooms downstairs have now been done except the wallpaper in the bathroom and the pantry and hallway. We will get to it, we do very well as a team, even if I lag behind. Maria’s artistry really comes into play, she paints carefully and professionally, and she is also putting her art on a chunk of the wall. Last night, after Simon was long buried, we looked at one another and said, “let’s go finish it,” and we simply put our backs into it, Maria’s lasting much longer than mine. I did great spraying and offered moral support and flirtation.

We love our small farmhouse for many reasons, at least one of which is that we have worked on so much of it together. it was a wonderful house from the beginning, but had turned dingy and dark as Florence Walrath had aged so graciously. She didn’t have the energy or the resources to polish it up at the end, and in another life, I would have hired people to do this work.

I am glad that we couldn’t afford to do that, it gave us such a rich sense of connection, ownership, pride and accomplishment. I think I’ll call it Simon’s wall from now on, a very fitting tribute to him on the weekend of his departure. I love my wife very much, she is one of the most remarkable people I have known, I am so proud to be her husband and lover and friend.