For the second day in a row, I have not scolded Lenore, corrected her or shouted at her on our walk as she forages for different smells, eats leavings and perhaps droppings or other things I find disturbing. For many years, I have shouted my dogs – border collies and Labs – as they eat feces or other matter that seems revolting to my human sensibilities.

Some years ago, a trainer told me that if I wished to have better dogs, I would have to become a better human being. She meant more patience, less frustrated, less angry. As someone who writes about dogs, I value the idea of positive reinforcement training, even as I believe that most humans are not all-positive and will stray into frustration and anger with their dogs. It is both inevitable and very human, I believe it has caused no harm to my dogs, or to Lenore, she and I have a great love affair going and she is a healthy, loving and grounded animal.

I want each dog, every animal I known and live with, to teach me something to make me better. Animals reveals our faults and shortcomings, our shallowness of vision and arrogance. For years, I have not been able to walk with Lenore without trying to get her to stop being a dog, stop being a Lab, become what a human likes me wishes a dog to be. This week I believe I have finally shed this conceit. As I pay less attention to Lenore and stop reinforcing her chowing down of waste matter, she is already doing less of it.

I know if I break through this for the next few months consistently – it will take that long – then she will do it much less, and it doesn’t really matter to me if she does or doesn’t. The issue comes from my own past, my own sense of dealing with cleanliness and hygiene, issues that often crop up with a chronic bedwetter like I was. Mostly, I want to enjoy my walks in the woods, I want my relationship with Lenore, as it is with my other dogs, to be calm and nourishing for both of us. This may sound like a small thing, but it is a big thing.

It is not a joke about dogs and poop, or Labs and the garbage they eat, it speaks to the very nature of our understanding and acceptance of the animals in our lives. It speaks to our ability to learn from our dogs and to grow as human beings. This is one of those issues that has plagued me for years, and I am happy  I am getting on top of it. My walk with Lenore this morning – she is one of the great dogs – was beautiful, easy and comfortable. I focused on Maria and saw beautiful things in the woods that I had missed. Lenore bounced along joyfully, coming when called, sitting when traffic appeared. It was what a walk with a dog should be, and it will get better still. Good on her for putting up with me, good on me for allowing her to make me better, that is when a relationship with a dog and a person really turns to gold.